Dear Diary

Chapter 12

"Whoa, what are you doing here?" Mark asked when I walked up to his table and he leaned over to give me a hug.

"Eh, I think I need to just get out of my house.  My activities have been a little too, oh what's the word I'm looking for?  Pornographic," and she pushed back from his hold.

"Well, um, okay then.  I'm glad you're here.  We can make this a teaching night if you want.  I have a few dates coming up that I'm double booked for, so the sooner I get you up and running, the sooner you're making money."

Leia liked the sound of making more money.  She stuck to Mark like glue.  Oh sure, he let her sing a few times.  After she had finished "Sweet Home Alabama," she had a few gentlemen try to hit on her.  But she warded them off with, "thank you, but I'm not looking for anything."  Then she felt a tingle in her southern region.  She wanted to call Joseph.  But she knew she needed to let that go.

For the last hour, Mark had Leia run the show by herself.  She had a few problems, that he was glad that they happened so that she would know what to do when she was by herself on a job.  She really was having fun running the show.  And it gave her an escape from her life the past few months.

When the show was over, Leia helped Mark tear everything down again.  "You realize you still need to learn set up, right hun?"

"Yes, I do.  Which night you want me to do it?  Friday or Saturday next week?"

"Why not both?  And you can run more of the show here if you want than at Hilly's.  I know that's your place, and you need time to relax.  Can't work all the time."

"Okay deal.  I'll be at both about an hour early to help unload and set up."

"Great.  Leia, have you talked to Erica?"

"No, why?"

"I just know you two were kinda bickering because you were trying to have a life.  In my opinion, she's got no room to talk.  So you needed to go have some fun.  So what?"

"That's what I said!" as she and Mark were packing his truck up with his dj equipment.  "Well, there ya go.  All packed up.  I'll see you at Hilly's on Friday for set up."

"Yes!  Okay, you get home safe hun.  See you later," and Mark gave her a hug and kiss on her cheek.

Leia got up into her truck and sat there for just a moment.  She was on the verge of crying.  She realized that she was once again alone.  But she needed to be. Her escapades of the last couple months were just not her.  She needed to stop it.  She felt her phone buzz and looked at it.  "No. I can't," when she saw it was Joseph.

J:  I know you said you needed a break, but I miss you.

"Damn it he's sweet."

L:  I know babe.  I know.  But hun, I can't. 

J:  Did I go to far with you last night?

L:  No.  I wanted to do all those things.  But, well, I just, I'm borderlining on something bad here, and I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not.  That wouldn't be fair to you.

J:  I get it.  I appreciate that.  I wouldn't want you to do that either.  Well sexy, if you decide otherwise, you know how to find me.

L:  I promise, if I need you, I will be in touch.  And just so you know, I had a REALLY great time.

J:  :-)

Leia felt bad.  Maybe Joseph did really like her.  But he didn't say as much.  The more she thought about it, the more she thought she had fucked up with him.  He was all she thought about the entire way home.  She had her phone in hand as she closed her garage door, and rather than text him, she called.  But boy howdy was she surprised when someone else answered.  Someone that was female, and NOT his daughter.  "Hello?"

"Uh, is Joseph around?"

"Who the fuck is this?"

"Well who the fuck is this?"  

In the background, Leia heard Joseph say, "Sweetheart who is it?"  Leia's mind went nuts.  Then she heard his voice clearly, "Hello?"

"You dick.  I actually thought you liked me."

"Leia.  Honey, I. . ."

"You weren't really on vacation for two weeks were you?"  He didn't answer her.  "And the shit I let you do to me.  Fuck you," and she ended the call.  She got out of the truck and went inside, crying the whole time.  She liked him more than she though she had.  And the asshole was fooling around with another bimbo the whole time.  Now she felt like a cheap whore that just got used.  "God, I was so stupid!"  She was in her room, contemplating shredding any of the clothes that she had ever put on for him.  She didn't want to see anything that had anything to do with him.  She thought about calling Erica just to vent, but she knew if she did that, she'd be met with a barrage of "I told you so's," and "you didn't think you were the only one did you's?"  So why bother.  She felt shitty enough.  Instead she just decided to go take a shower and try to wash the memory of his sorry ass away.

When she got out of the shower, something in her changed.  She was suddenly positive.  "So what?  So he wasn't just fooling around with me.  Who cares?  I can do one of two things here.  I can either sit here and cry over a relationship that I never had.  Or, I can suck it up, realize that I had some amazing sex, learned a few new things that will make me better for my next relationship, and I can move the fuck forward."  That was in her brain.  As we all know, women tend to be driven more by their hearts than their heads.  And her heart was still trying to be the ruling party for her emotions.  She can't believe she didn't see that he had someone else that he was screwing at the same time as her.  Out loud she said, "Jesus, Chris did that shit to me, and I never saw it.  Only difference is this time, I didn't stick around."  And then it clicked.  "I didn't stick around.  Yeah.  Fuck him.  I have learned.  I don't care how good Joseph can use his dick.  He ain't getting any of this pussy no more."

She felt completely confident in herself again, and all because she decided to rise above not only Joseph, but herself as well.  And as she began to exit her room to go make herself a cup of tea before turning in for the night, she heard her doorbell.  "Who the fuck?  It's 1:30 in the morning!" 

Leia tied her robe.  As she walked towards her front door, the bell went off again.  Now, she got nervous that it was some crazy killer coming for her. She quietly opened the door to the garage and grabbed her baseball bat.  She slowly inched toward the front door, bat in hand, ready to swing if necessary.  Bell rang again.  She looked through the peep hole.  "No.  It can't be." 

Her breath was stolen.  Her wavy brown hair rising and falling with that of her shoulders as she tried to breathe.  Her eyes wide with disbelief.  She undid the locks and opened her front door.  She watched as the man at her door turned around and faced her.   Ball cap, leather jacket, broad shoulders, just tight enough jeans, full smile that always made her melt.  "Hi darlin'," in a low growl like tone.  That was just his voice.  He never even had to try to sound sexy.

Leia found her breath, took one large gulp at the sight before her.  She was still in disbelief.  She dropped her bat and made fists with both hands so her nails were digging into her palms so that she could feel some sort of pain, telling her she was awake and not dreaming.  Once she knew she was awake, and she knew this was not a dream, she only got out one word with sheer surprise. . ."Danny."