The Barrister Boy (COMPLETED)

What?

Nick

"Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused."

-Paulo Coelho

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     Nick and Charlie had been having a some-what meaningless text conversation, but it meant something to him. All the little 'haha's and 'hi's and adorable 'baii's. All though they sound like nothing, too Nick, it just made him realise quite how fond he was of the cute, curly boy with every new message.

     After Charlie had been offline for a minute or so, Nick decided to take that chance to walk, Nellie, his older dog of 8 years, and Henry, his younger dog that he got for Christmas 3 years back.

     He loved walking them to the park and around his neighbourhood, just to clear his mind, or contrastingly, push every thought he had to its full extent until he understood everything in his head. This often led to walks around an hour or two long. Nick didn't mind this, however, Henry being the small pug he is, found it quite tiring walking back and forth along the parks length over and over and over again.

     Nick made his way downstairs after shouting a brief "Taking the floofs out" to his mum. 

     "C'mon Nellie, c'mon Hen'" Nick cooed as he unhooked their leads from the banister. "You ready, let's go walkies!". He could've sworn he saw Henry roll his eyes, but he's a dog, so that makes zero sense.

     As soon as Nick left the house, he felt the brisk January air numb his nose and cheeks. He instinctively breathed out and watched as it formed a small cloud then dissipated. "C'mon then." Nick started to pull his two pups, until he was the one being pulled gently by them.

     As he walked he let his mind slip into deep thought of everything, those everything's being anything to do with Charlie. 

Nick's mind -  Try and keep up.

     I like Charlie. A lot. But just as a friend. Obviously. I would never like a guy more than that. I'm not gay or anything. Not that being gay would be a bad thing. It's just not me. Right? Yes...

     But Charlie. He's just so.. like I've never met someone like him. Or connected so fast. Or found every action he makes and every word he speaks so fucking amazing. But that just shows how good of a friend he is. Friends. Nothing more. Maybe best friends. But that is it.

     God he's so funny too. All those little messages. And how he rambles on to me about anything and everything. Ugh. What is this?!

     You're not supposed to feel this way about a guy you just met. Especially when you're straight. What's going on with me? Why do I feel this way? And why now? Why am I only having this strange epiphany now?

     Wait. No. I don't feel any way. He's just a friend. Charlie. Is. Just. A. Really. Good. Friend.

     But.. remember that one summer camp coach. The one I was constantly trying to impress. Haha. He was really hot. What? Nick. That's weird. Wait a minute. Is that.. happening again? With Charlie. It can't be. I mean nothing even happened with the coach guy. I WAS TWELVE! I didn't know what I was on about.

     Shit. I'm not twelve anymore. I'm nineteen. I'm nineteen and probably have a crush on this random boy I met.

     Wait wait wait. Back up.

     I don't have a crush. I just find him cute. And funny. And kind. And kinda hot. And perfect in like every way. Even though no ones perfect. ARGH! I do have a crush on him. What the even though??!! I'm not gay! Or anything queer for that matter.

     I need to go home. I've already been here for.. 40 MINUTES?! How'd that happen? Anyways. Home.

Escaping Nick's mind - Did you survive?

     Nick made it back from the park fairly quickly, with the motivation of figuring out what is actually happening on his mind. 

     "Hello Nicky! How was your walk?" Sarah, Nick's mum, beamed as he walked. through the door.

     "Good." Nick stated blankly as he shut the door behind him and unleashed the doggos. 

     Without another word, Nick went up to his room. He quickly grabbed his laptop and flopped onto a beanbag at the end of his bed. 

     The blonde boy hesitantly hovered his shaking hands over the keyboard. Nick slowly typed out a sentence, the tingly feeling in his heart growing with each letter. 

     am i gay?

     He contemplated wether hitting enter was a good idea or not. Did he really want to know?

     After a few seconds, he pressed it, hoping the impulsiveness of it would help.

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a/n 

Finally updating! Hope you liked this chapter.

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-Ollie