Nick
Pansexual - adjective ;
Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender or gender identity
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The two boys had silently cuddled on the log at the park for nearly an hour, until Charlie realised he had to go home so his mum didn't get mad. Nick wishes it could've been longer, he loves just being with him, close to him, talking to him. Charlie's like free therapy for Nick, a way to help clear his mind of all confusing or upsetting thoughts.
Now he was back in that familiar position of the dreaded google search for answers. He didn't ask the same thing because, even if he's not gay, he knows he's not straight. He still wanted answers though, a name for who he is and how he feels. So he went to YouTube, in search of said name.
The hard thing is that it's not like shopping for sex, you don't get to choose your feelings or your sexuality, you have to figure out who you're attracted to, and then know what that's called. This isn't the case for everyone, but in Nick's situation, it was the seemingly easiest way.
He came across videos of Bisexuality, Gay-ness, Pansexuality and even got distracted with the odd How I Knew I Was Trans video. Two stuck out in particular towards him, bisexual and pansexual.
Bisexual is where you're attracted to the two genders, male and female.
Pansexual is where you're attracted to anyone of any sex and or gender identity.
Nick thought of himself as quite an open minded person, and that the limits of bisexuality didn't work for him. However, when he thought of being pansexual and attracted to anybody, it just sat right with him.
His mind felt at peace and understanding, now that he understood himself. He glanced up to the top of his laptop and his eyes widened at the time being 02:48, had he really been online for nearly three hours?
He set his laptop down on the floor beside the bed, rolled over and closed his eyes, letting sleep takeover from there.
* * * * * * *
Nick woke up at the usual weekend time of nine-thirty in the morning, and plopped his way downstairs to the kitchen. The tempting smell of pancakes wafted up his nostrils and dragged him towards them.
"Hey mum."
"Hello honey, do you want some pancakes?"
"Yes please."
"I thought so." Sarah chuckled lightly.
Nick stood up from his seat and made his way towards the cupboards in search of chocolate spread to smother his pancakes in, "Do we have anymore Nutella?"
"I think it's in the back, love."
"Uhh, oh yeah. Got it, thanks."
* * * * * * *
Nick's mind had been ticking away whilst he ate his breakfast. He knew he didn't have to tell his mum, but he definitely wanted to. They had a close bond and he didn't want to possibly ruin it by hiding something so big.
"Mum?"
"M-hm."
"Uh, so.." He didn't really know how to start it, or bring the topic into conversation, "You know Charlie, that barrister boy from the café?"
"Yes," Sarah glanced up at Nick, she had a feeling of what he might be getting at.
"Well, umm, he's.. we're kinda, together?"
Sarah couldn't stop an immediate smile from growing on her face.
"And, uh, I'm pansexual. If you know what that is?"
"I do sweetheart, I am very caught up in this generation of LGBTQ+-ness." The two laughed, and Nick sighed in relief.
"I didn't know how'd you react, we never really talk about this kinda stuff. But I'm happy you accept me. You do accept it, right?"
"Of course I do Nicky. To be honest, I've had my suspicions since you met him. Just by the way you talk about him, I could tell you really like him, more than a friend."
Nick chuckled lightly at the fact that he was worrying about how to tell her, but she practically already knew.
He couldn't wait to see Charlie again, maybe take things a small step further?
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a/n
Sorry, I know it's a bad chapter ending.
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-Ollie
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The Barrister Boy (COMPLETED)
Fanfiction"I like to think, we would find each other in any universe.." Every story ends in a Happy Ever After but it's not always a happy journey. A/N = TW throughout whole book: swearing, self harm, eating disorder, OCD traits, slight smut (sexual material)...
