For What It's Worth

he could be gone hours bobby, HOURS!?

eddies pov

7.44am

i wake up , my head is banging, why i look around to see the empty bottle of whiskey on the table ,what... and then it all came flooding back, 

"Buck.. " i mumble under my breath, i pace toward my phone across the room , no new messages. "shit " i text him once more Im going to have to talk to him when i get to work, i put down my phone and rub my face im such and idiot, why did i let him leave... the truth , the god honest truth i feel the exact fucking same , why!? why!? i just lost any oppertunity to talk this out with him

 i shake myself off " i need to clean this place and my self chris will be waking up for his trip in 25 minutes, i go over and clear the table and wipe it down with a cloth , i grab a bag and pack all the snacks and sweets i got for Chris and his friends to share at the camp site . I run to my room and change for work and have a quick shave , i walk to Chris's room to wake him

(knock, knock)

"hey Chris time to get up "i say to him

he springs up and grabs his clothes from his bed side table ready to get started i help him get up before we go to the kitchen to get breakfast , i grab 2 bowls and a box of cereal and the milk ,

"i want to pour my bowl!" chris tells me 

"alright then " i laugh handing him the box

after we eat i gather all of chris's bags and equipment for his trip, i load all the his bags into the the car , beofre returning to the house to get my gear bag and my phone , still no new messages , damnit..

we drive to chris's school  i load his gear into the bus before urning to Chris

"I am going to miss you so much! , you are going to have an amazing time and i cant wait to hear about it when you get back" u pull chris in for a hug 

" i love you daddy , i cant wait to see you to, and buck"he smiles

" ok we need to get you on the bus or you are going to miss it " i direct chris to the bus and wave to him as the bus leaves he gives me a wave beofre they turn around the corner,

i walk back too the car , look at my phone , nothing new, i sigh and drive to work , looks like we are doing this face to face 

bobbys pov

i walk into work around 8.46am thinking about what athena told me last night about buck , i feel my self checking around the fire station to  see if someones is  lurking but no one is . athena told me that buck will be going to the police station first thing in the morning, i go nto my office to wait till the shift starts , a few minutes later i see eddie come un he looks a bit ... manic? he looking around as he heads to the changing rooms , i hear a knock on my office door a few minutes later . come in i say 

its eddie "every ok Eddie ?" i say 

eddie-"eh yeah... do you know if buck is here yet ... i need to talk to him"

"well buck isnt going to be in this morning "i say and see a bit of panic come across eddies face

" but he'll be in around 12, did buck not tll you that" i ask try to find out whats wrong i didnt want to say anything incase buck hadnt mentioned his problom

eddie-"emm, yeah.. no.... we had a fight last night that ended pretty nastily i just wanted to say sorry you know " 

"Dont worry Eddie hes be here soon , and im sure hell forgive you for whatevver happened ,you are the two closest people i know sure" i say to reassure eddie 

" im not sure bout that "eddie says under his breath

"ok, lets get some breakfast ready , it will be better for you than waiting around"i tell eddie as i get up from my desk 

 i look back and realize eddie is still sitting down hes holding a photo from my desk , you really care about him he says , looking At a picture of Buck and me , 

"Hes like son to me,...now c'mon lits go"i say

we both walk up the stairs to meet the rest of the team , we make breakfast , but half way through the Bell goes off "gear u guys" i tell everyone" i say

The 118 where out on a call for three hours they arrive back around 12.15pm

Eddies pov

 we drive back into the station , im getting nervous buck is mostly lkely here no and this talk is going to  make or break everything, we get get out of the truck , and we all head bck to the kitchen to finish eating when we see a furious Athena 

Athena- "where is he !? he told me he wouldnt go to work without coming to the station first"

"hey , hey Athena what do you mean hes hasnt been here " bobby says 

i look from athena to bobby " what are you talking about!? whats going on and WHERE!? is buck?"i shout 

"you dont know ?" athena says 

"KNOW WHAT? I say 

" eddie sit down, everyone actually sit down " bobby tells me 

concern creeps across everyones face as they take a seat

"ok i am her by not jumping to conclusions but i need everyone to be competely honest , "athena sternly say , we all nod

"has anyone talked to buck this morning in anyway even on text"she asks

" everyone says no, " i last spoke to him around 3am or something just before he left mine" i say

"Buck hasnt said this to anyone cause he didnt want people to think he was being dramtic .... but i have to tell yous its ofr his own sake.. buck thinks that he has been gettig followed by somwonw for the last few weeks or being watched he wasnt sure he came to me last night and told me because it hasnt gotten any better , i asked him to stay at me and bobbys but he said he had plans and would be careful , and he promised he would be at the station first thing today , but he never showed , i taught he just went straight to work...but " she was about to cry i could tell , she hides her emotions well but i know better 

Athena~" bobby do you have a key for bucks i need to check his appartment "

bobby- " Im going with you , i need to know hes ok" 

well im going to i say 

"Eddie.."
"IM GOING" i shout 

bobby- "ok fine , Hen your incharge till i get back ill make a call to let the department know "

so we were off to bucks apartment , athena bobby and I , i feel my stomach drop i feel sick please be ok ... please 

we arrive at his apartment , i feel like im going to get sick but i try keep myself together as i blame myself , i let him leave!? he could have been ok 

we knock on the door , no repsonse , athena goes to open the door , its unlocked , shit that cant be good , we look around and the kitchen i counter has letters , his phone is on the floor and a needle (F#ck) i think.

" i need to call this in , nobod touch anything" she says beofre exiting the room 

"I I i-i " i start hyperventailating im about to hit the floor when bobby grabs me under my arm and drags me to the hall , and sits me on the floor 

"Eddie-, Eddie look at me ok your having a panic attack i need you to focus ok?" he say through tears 

" ITS MY FAULT , i let him leave i let him leave after the fight !? " i shout 

" EDDIE this- this is not you fault ok?! you hear me , we are going to get.him.back ok, hes going to be ok im sure of it " bobby crys , try t get himslef to believe his own words

" he could be gone hours bobby HOURS!?  he left mine at 3am its nearly 1pm GOD KNOWS WHERE HE COULD BE " i shout

Bobby just pulls me in and hugs me , we dont say anything more.

so what are we thinking guys? hope you liked this chapter ! thxx for reading

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