Breathless

Olivia

I ran as fast as I could as the world seemed to be crumbling around me. It all happened so fast and I wanted it, Lord did I want it. Noah in front of me completely naked and all of his length made me wet and want to fall at my knees. It felt so natural to just want to please him; I was getting pleasure out of pleasing him. I had technically never experience sex/orgasm, but knew that what I was feeling was complete desire. Everything in me screamed go for it, but I guess my brain couldn't completely turn off.

Everything was fast and amazing until it wasn't. With him over me about to insert in to me was when it all hit me. It took me back to where I never wanted to go. A huge part of me thought what happened to me would not hinder my future relationships or sexual encounters, but obviously I was mistaken. I did the only thing I could think of, I ran and didn't stop; thankfully Noah didn't follow me. When I came out of the room there was so many people and thankfully none that I recognized because I couldn't handle the humiliation along with the panic. I can't believe someone like Noah wanted me and I freaked. I could not be around him again, I know he will have questions that honestly I am not ready to answer.

I get back to my room and by the time I get there I had ran so fast I don't think I was breathing. Trying to catch my breath I fall to the floor sobbing and end up falling asleep on the floor.

I wake up the next morning to the hard ground. It was Sunday. All of last night catches up to me and I feel ridiculous. I am supposed to have Sunday brunch with Trent at the diner at ten. I am hoping that Noah didn't say nothing to him because I can't handle going through it all and humiliating Trent as well. I get up and head toward the shower and get dressed in some leggings and tank. I walk to the lobby and peek out the door to see Trent waiting for me in his car.

When I get in he smiles and asked me, "I heard you dropped by the party?" I winced hoping he was not mad. At this point I had no clue what he knew and was hesitant to find out. A huge part of me hoped nothing was said.

"Yeah, I thought I would give the college party scene one try," I pull the seat belt around buckling myself into the seat, "but I don't think I will be at any more." I looked forward waiting for the questioning to begin.

"Cool, well you know you're always welcomed." He puts the car in gear and drives off. I kept waiting but it never came. I look over at him and there is no inkling of him knowing what's going on because my brother was the kind to need to know all of the details. Very protective. He would of needed more. Maybe Noah didn't tell him what happened. But why?

We pull up to the diner; it was us and two other cars. I was internally relaxing because I am 95% sure he had no clue what happened last night and I feel like we can sit and actually enjoy our brunch. We walked into the diner and rounded the corner where I was greeted by a large booth. But it's not empty. It's all of Trent's roommates, including Noah.

I stop and gasp. "Trent, what is everyone doing here?" I say with a forced grin.

"Well, I mentioned to a couple of the guys I was going with you and before I knew it everyone was loading up in their cars to head this way. I think it could be good. Look at all of these guys as your other brothers. I know they will protect you when I am not around." I roll my eyes thinking I don't need protecting. Right now I need a small black corner to hide in and cry of embarrassment. We keep going forward and I lock eyes with Noah and quickly turn away trying to pay attention to the group.

"Livy!" One of the guys I've met but unsure of his name moves to let me in and all of the sudden I am surrounded by two big football players and across from the guy I left naked in a panic last night.

"Thank you." I quietly say. Looking at the menu trying not to look at anyone, but Noah in particular, I listen to their banter. Couple minutes pass the waitress comes and takes our order. I order pancakes, they're my favorite. I sit there eating my pancakes as all the guys continue to talk. I had kind of looked forward to talking with Trent; asking him for pointers especially since he had been on campus for so many years, but it would wait.

I finished my pancakes and looked up to most of the guys looking at me. "Damn, Livy, you actually eat." I look at Brody, one of Trent's friends, with wide eyes realizing that they were watching me eat.

"Have ya'll never seen a girl eat pancakes?" I reply with confusion.

Brody replies, "no, most of the girls are keeping their figure or whatever the crap their excuse is and always order salads or just water when out with us."

I look up with a chuckle, "if you haven't notice I am not your size zero girl trying to win after your heart or dick. I am going to enjoy my food." I have never been intimidated by men especially ones my brother hangs out with. Most of which used to be my friends in high school, but thankfully none of those jerks are here.

Brody laughs, "girl you may be no size zero but ten out of ten with that ass and you just won my heart eating those pancakes like there was no tomorrow. Can I have your number?" I laugh knowing he's joking, but look around waiting for Trent to do his brotherly threat even though Trent and I have understanding I don't take any of his friends seriously when it comes to me. But before I can look over at Trent my eyes land on Noah and he is red and looks to Brody and shoves him to the side.

"Brody, shut the fuck up. You can't talk about her like that." I think everyone was silent including my brother.

Trent pipes in, "Noah, it's ok Livy is used to banter between guys. She grew up with me as a brother and unfortunately I hang out with a bunch of jerks, but she knows not to take it seriously cause bro code; ya'll would never attempt a pass at her." He smiles looking down at his drink sipping through the straw and my eyes dart back to Noah who is calming down, but then I see it and recognize that look. He is shooting me a pity look.

My worst fear is someone knowing my past and now I feel like Noah knows. I put my napkin on the table and try to scoot out "guys can I get out? I need to go to the restroom." I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. What have I got myself into, school hasn't started and I am wishing I would have chose a different school.