Ego over Relations

Not Imagination

After 2 months

Sita's POV

I had amazing life with everything at my door without even asking. As soon as I turned 22, my life took U-turn, dad kind of forced me to marry Santhu... I escaped to India, met Ben, fell in love with him. It felt magical, falling in love with Ben but it was short lived, Ben threw me out of his life and dad doesn't want me to think of him, blackmailed me to marry Santhu. He even made me swear on him to not tell anything about Ben to Santhu. 

Santhu doesn't know about my love story with Ben, infact he doesn't even know that I met a person named, Ben. He knows Joseph and Dheeraj. Santhu is on cloud 9 that I agreed to marry him. I had tiny hope that Santhu would say no to our marriage. The moment I agreed, I saw it in his eyes, his love... he is love with me. I have been with him all my life, how did I not realize his feelings? Probably, I was so used to his love and care since childhood, failed to notice when it turned into love. I can't reciprocate his feelings, my heart is with Ben even after he shattered it. Why didn't I fell in love with Santhu, he is the most amazing person on earth. Why did I fall in love with an ass***e who hurt me again and again in the short span I knew. 

Two weeks back we came to India, been staying in Cochin. Santhu's grandparents live here, they wanted their only grandson's wedding here. Dad met mom in Cochin, wanted to settle here, bought a house long back. Santhu's dad moved to Boston after college and helped my dad when he got married and that chaotic period. He is dad's childhood friend

I'm getting engaged to Santhu in 10 days. I want to shout and tell that I can't marry Santhu but I can't, I'm helpless 

Santhu knows me in and out but he didn't realize that I agreed to this marriage against my will. He thought I'm sad because I'm grounded. Yes you heard me right, I'm grounded since the time I was brought back to Boston. I'm not allowed to go out, not even allowed to me meet Santhu. I didn't fight it because I want to be left alone.I can't think of anything or anyone but Ben. I hate him passionately, he hurt me so much, didn't trust me... believed his dad and threw me out of his life like trash, insulted dad. 

Today starts my wedding preparations at Santhu's home. We are on the way. Dad is lecturing me non stop, how I should put on smile, look happy,  talk to everyone...etc etc... his words are entering my ears, not brain. He doesn't know that I forgot to speak and  smile. Everyone used to tease me that if I can ever shut my mouth, now I don't want to talk...

Does dad not understand how broken I'm, how can he do this to me?

"Oh my god! You look stunning Sita... you look like coming out of fairytale" I came out of thoughts hearing Grishma aunty(Santhosh's mom). I didn't even realize we reached Santhu's home "I can't wait for another month to take Sita home, give me today itself... if you want take Santhosh" aunty added hugging me. I looked at dad, he glared at me and gestured to look happy? I looked down, pretending to feel shy. Grishma aunty took me to her in laws, I took their blessings. Grishma aunty introduced me to her relatives, only few are there, it's just a simple ritual before starting wedding preparations. 

Grishma aunty gave me saree and asked me to change, I went to room to change, then Only  I remembered that I don't know how to drape

"Do you want my help?" I heard a voice. I closed my eyes and ears to shut that voice. I always imagine Ben, he even talks to me in my imagination. I'm going crazy because of that as****e

"It won't hurt your pride to take my help" I heard his voice clear and loud, I opened my eyes, I'm seeing him again. He is looking as handsome as ever in beautiful maroon Kurta pajama. I sat down on chair, crying 

"You are not real... get lost... leave me alone, please... I'm not crazy... I'm not crazy" 

"You are not crazy, you make others crazy"

"Why do you taunt me even in my imagination, get lost... I hate you... I don't want to see your face or hear your voice... get out of my mind... I hate you... I hate you"

"You love to hate me right, why are you crying then?" I felt strong grip on my shoulders, I was on my feet by force. I opened my eyes, Ben is still in front of me, looking at me in fury. I touched his face, I could feel him

"You are real?" I asked in disbelief. He cupped my face and crushed his lips on mine, he kissed me slowly then he started biting them. I tried to push him but he held my hands, pushed me against the wall without breaking kiss. Then he started kissing my neck. 

"Look at yourself, do you believe I'm real" he said in anger. I looked in the mirror, my lower lip is bleeding and there is purple-pink mark on my neck