Liliana,
I'm very sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean for things to end how they did. I very seldom write letters but this is the best way to get everything out that I must say.
It's very very hard for me to say this to you. You might take it as a joke but please have an open mind when reading the rest of this letter.
I'm not who you think I am. My name is not Micah Jackson, its Michael Jackson. I'm not related to him, I am him. I don't know if that's hard to believe or not. Deep down, I think you already knew this. But either way, I AM SORRY. I didn't mean to deceive you for so long. I'm ready to explain myself. Just please hear me out.
I dress myself in different disguises from time to time in order to do things without causing hysteria. The day I met you, I just wanted to go out and have some time to myself. I didn't really go for the rides, I really love to people watch and Disneyland is the perfect place for that, especially on Valentine's Day. The reason why it's interesting to me is because when I meet people, I don't get to know and see the real them. They make everything about me and they're not in their normal state of mind. They're in front of this person they see on TV and hear on the radio. So when I'm in a disguise, I'm treated as a normal human being and I get to naturally interact with people. When you spilled the drink on me, it was actually kind of exciting. At first, I didn't think anything about you, just another pretty clumsy girl. But when you came to me again, apologizing and offering to replace my jacket, that's when I realized how sweet you were. You were kind of treating me as if I was someone important in the world, like the way I think one of my fans would react if something like that were to happen but I was just a regular guy so the fact that you were being so apologetic and kind turned me on to you. But I knew I couldn't do anything about it because I was an alien that day.
I was very very shocked (and happy) when I saw you later on in the night. I knew it had to be for a reason that I was seeing you again but I kept telling myself there was no way I could befriend you while hiding behind a mask. I ate with you anyway though and I loved how we talked about random things at first. For the first time I felt like I was really connecting with someone on a level that I could never be able to as myself. I didn't want you to leave but you were getting frustrated because I had no answers for any of your questions. That was just a reminder of why I couldn't continue anything with you, even though you gave me your number.
The reason I took so long to call was because first, I never really had intentions to call you, and second, I was extremely busy in the process of recording for my album Bad. I never forgot you though. It seemed at night time, when I was alone, was when I thought of you the most for some reason. I yearned for another conversation with you because you made me feel different. But I didn't want to befriend you under a lie but at the same time I didn't want to tell you who I really was because that would have made everything pointless. You didn't know of my true name and fame and that's the part I loved about you. The night I called you in March, I was being selfish I admit. I should have just let it go but I couldn't. I wanted to hang up but your voice did something to me. I remember my heart beating rapidly and my mouth going dry. You were very seductive at first. But then you woke up a little and I felt more comfortable talking to you, especially after I realized you weren't questioning me about anything. I remember you said to me you knew my heart was good and that was all that mattered then. That meant so much to me. And from that moment on I knew there was no way I could let you go.
I knew you would eventually want to see me again so I had to prepare to go back into the same disguise. I had my make-up artist come help me because she was one of the people who helped me the first time. She thought I was crazy and I was. Crazy for you. I was willing to do anything to get to you again and keep you around. I wasn't expecting what actually happened though that night. First the kiss threw me off, I thought at that moment you knew who I was so I started questioning you but when you came up with your car accident and plastic surgery theory I knew you still had no idea. All your records were of Latin artists so I knew you didn't even listen to my music and I was still safe.
That night though was AMAZING. You did things to me, and continued to, that I never experienced from any woman and probably never will again. I won't lie, after that, I felt like I was using you just for your affection. I could tell you were doing the same but somehow we ended up falling in love with each other. You quicker than me. It was harder for me because I was still in love with my ex Ava. I told you she was my cousin. I don't remember the name I gave her, but the girl at Disneyland. I swear to you though, nothing happened between us while I was with you. I actually should thank you because you showed me what loyalty and true love was. She's betrayed me in the past and I constantly give her chance after chance like right now...but she's a better assistant than friend. She's hot and cold. But I'm happy she convinced me to write this letter to you. She believes that you will forgive me. I only deceived you of my appearance and left out a big part of my life. I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me. I pray you do. I really want to be with you and make this thing work. I love you.
I'm in Japan right now and I'm about to head out to go do my first show. I told you I was leaving and wouldn't be back for a long time. I wasn't lying about that part. I'm on tour. My first solo tour. I'll be touring for more than a year. My last show is sometime late next year. But sometime things don't go as planned so it can be longer than that. I hardly ever rest and I won't get much break time but I will make time for you. I was able to make a lot of time for you when I was making my album. I'll make time for you while I'm touring too. You can fly out to see me or when I'm back in the states, I'll see you when I'm in your area. I'll call you as often as possible if you wish not to join me. I'll keep us secret. I'll let the world know. Whatever you want, just please don't take your love away from me. I'm dying without you in my life. You really mean a lot to me. I'm sorry I did this to you. I will never lie to you again. I kept this going on for so long because I didn't think I would fall in love with you. And then when I realized I had, it was hard for me to say it because I felt like you would never trust me again. So I left you without even trying to explain the truth to you but this is me trying now. I hope I'm not too late.
Why do I love you? Because you love me for me. I've been in love before and I've had girlfriends here and there but you are THE ONLY ONE that I know genuinely loved me for me because you had no idea of who I really was. You didn't know of my fame and success. I know for certain you weren't in it for the money or publicity. You were simply just there for me. I'm not saying all my exes used me but you're the only one I know for sure didn't and will always be the only one I know loved me truly for me. Thank you.
Liliana, please forgive me? Please don't take your genuine love away from me. I've never felt so complete than when I was with you and now I'm broken and lost in this world again.
I see you as my soul mate, my life partner, my other half, my wife, the mother of my children, my Queen.
I'm sorry if I hurt you to the point where you can't forgive me. If you don't respond then I know why and I will forever regret what I've done to you.
I'm willing to give you my all and tell you everything about me. My past, anything you want to know.
I'm traveling but please call this number and I'll get back to you as fast I can. 805-934-4177 I'll be waiting until the end of time
Forgive me (please)
Love M.J.
