Tomlinson was the best thing to happen to me (Watty's '13)

Confrontation

Everyone's out tonight, it's just me. The boys and Peazer, as she's let me call her now, have a show tonight and Paul's out drinking, though he promised not to get stone drunk to simplify my life. I don't think Dani really minds the Peazer thing. Considering I've let her call me Annie- that's one of those things I don't usually let people I've literally just met call me- it's a return of that notion. But when we spent the entire afternoon talking, I reckon that calls for a speed up of that 'stranger' period. Don't mind me, Liam, I'm not going to kidnap your cool girlfriend: we're close, but there's still a remaining barrier between me and run-of-the-mill normal girls. Even if we've breached the stranger barrier. In terms of people vaguely my own age, I'm definitely closest to Louis. It's a matter of time and other factors. Like how the introduction of his friendship at the right time led to this blood brother thing we haven't entirely completed. Gotta go: Horace is requesting food.

I have to have a talk with Niall. It's hard to explain. But I'm not gonna be any good as girlfriends go. I like Niall, but there's no way in the world the fans are going to like me if they aren't afraid to show their opinion. And I'm concerned about the sort of things that might happen to Niall as a member of the band. I finish my noodles hurriedly and start up my laptop to get onto Youtube. I search up 'one direction' and video diaries pop up as well as XFactor performances. I watch all the video diaries, Louis' carrot thing is just hilarious, and the light thing… I almost wanted to check my hearing. He's also tipped a white powder of some description into his beanie and something if the same description into a cup. I can't be sure if it's a cup of tea. And I can't be sure if it's sugar or salt he's emptied in such copious amounts. As of right now, there are 2 or 3 people I need to confront for a discussion on several topics. Niall, Louis and Harry. Niall to discuss the situation between us, Louis to discuss what he's landed me in and Harry to see if we can be civil, at least. Talking with Louis isn't exactly that important but if it were possible I would. I've found myself in that dreaded position. Never good at communicating what I feel, or putting things into comprehensible English words, this was probably one of the things I've dreaded since age 11 or 12. I always knew of my terrible communication skills. A part of me told myself I'd grow out of it, another part told me I'd navigate a way out of the problem if I didn't grow out of it. And now I'm telling myself I'll write Niall a note of explanation. Horace calling. Need food urgently. I think there was some yoghurt in Harry's fridge, I'll steal some of that. I grab  a plastic card I found in Niall's room, a bowl and spoon, and I leave the flat. I find a slit in the door frame and slide my card through there, unlocking the door with a small click. A classmate in my German class always unlocked the door using this method, it was as effective as alohomora. I let myself in, walk to the fridge, and open it. Ta-da! Yoghurt! Natural yoghurt! Yay! And I bought some honey a while ago so there's that! I scooped out half a small bowl of the stuff, replaced everything as it had been when I came in, and left.

I tried to think of what to write. I finished my yoghurt, washed up and dried. I replaced my bowl and spoon in their respective areas even though neither item were supposed to go back yet, my dad always told me that I had to leave it to air dry for a while longer before replacing, but I was more intent on hiding the fact I'd done anything suspicious, so I just put them back. I heard footsteps on the stairs. Not being able to identify how many people were there, I quickly shut down my laptop and turned on the television, flicking through the channels. A door opened, and owing to the fact I could not hear any voices chattering, I deduced it must have just been Paul coming back. But still I remained on the couch watching television. And furiously thinking up ideas for the wording in that note I'm supposed to leave for Niall. And when that didn't work, I thought what words I would say to him in the ideal world that I don't end up saying something else, and most certainly remember the words I wanted to use. Niall… I like you. I really do. But circumstances surrounding my past result in me not being able to replicate what a girlfriend would normally be able to do, be able to say. My parents have sometimes described me as cold, hard-hearted. In all technicality Louis and I are, you could say, pending blood brothers. If, after I've told you this, you leave me, I understand. There won't be any hard feelings. We can always remain as friends. Not all break ups end in a bad way, you know.