Hearts are Blind (Severus Snape X OC)

In The Wake Of A Death

Author's Note:

Forgive my absence. Life happened. I stopped writing. I had another baby. Her name is Lyradae and she's 2 1/2 now. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had a total thyroidectomy. I thought I'd get cancer in, like, my 50's or something. I'm 33. So that was a time. I'm trying to do things that make me happy, though. I haven't been very happy for a while, I think. It's hard to tell sometimes... But writing makes me happy and for a long time I was so stuck. I decided to just sit down and write what I could, even if I thought it sucked ass. Well, this chapter is the result of me writing even though I thought it sucked ass. To be fair, I've been slowly working on this chapter for the last 3 years. LOL. I tried my best to get back into the groove of writing to finish it, so I hope you enjoy...

In The Wake Of A Death

She hadn't the faintest idea what was happening; what she was doing; where she was going; what was around her... Her body moved reflexively, as she scrambled down the hall to get away from the sitting room. In her haste, she'd tripped over her suitcase at the bottom of the stairs with such force, that it burst open and scattered her things everywhere. She couldn't remember getting back up. She couldn't remember going into the shop or standing at the counter. Her mind came-to, as she held a quill between her fingers and her large eyes stared down at the envelope that sat in front of her. She'd written "Severus" on the outside, but she couldn't recall doing it. How long had she stood there? She thought she heard the tiniest whining. It came from somewhere behind her, but she didn't want to turn around. She wanted to close her eyes and wake up.

Her hand shook above the envelope, as she stared down at it again. What was she trying to say? What was she doing? What was she supposed to write? Nothing felt real. She waved the fingers of her free hand beneath her nose, eyebrows creased, and stared at the movement. The air felt thick, like she was trying to maneuver through water.

Lucinda set the quill down with a snap and backed away from the counter. Her spine pressed against the shelf behind her and she felt every line of the wood. Jasper's thin hands had wiped a rag over it the day before. He'd been grinning, because she'd been complaining that they were cleaning, even though he said he didn't want to "bother" with opening the shop.

"Tidying up can be its own form of fun."

"Then why aren't we using magic?"

"I dunno," he'd shrugged.

She'd laughed. They'd both laughed. They never did use magic to finish cleaning. Somehow, it was funnier that way...

Lucinda was suddenly standing with the shop door open. The air must have been bitter cold, but she didn't notice. It blew against her neck and her skin tightened, as she swallowed, staring at the envelope that was now in her hand. She had sealed it, but she didn't remember doing it. She didn't know what she'd written inside, but her fingers let it go, anyway. The envelope hovered momentarily in front of her and her mouth whispered, "Hogwarts". It flew up into the white sky and Lucinda watched it disappear. Then she saw someone walking by; just a village local, but the man caught her eye. He smiled and waved, but Lucinda couldn't respond. She felt like she'd been caught doing something wrong. She took a step back and snapped the door shut in an instant.

Then she was standing in the middle of the shop, back facing the rest of the house. She didn't want to turn around. She wanted to close her eyes and count to ten and then go find Jasper, because he was hiding. They were playing a game. He was hiding and she was going to find him. He'd played such a cruel joke on her. She had to remember to scold him for scaring her, but she was having trouble focusing. She had to try and remember to remember.