Hearts are Blind (Severus Snape X OC)

A Little Too Much

She had to tell someone. She had to talk to someone about this. Her first thought was to go straight to Aurora, wherever she may be. That's when she realized that she didn't even know what time it was. Rorie could be in class somewhere. So much had happened that day already. If it wasn't quite noon, lunch would be starting. Well, crap, if it was lunchtime, then she would be running from Snape, only to be forced to face him again in the Great Hall. She couldn't. She had to put some distance between them. But even as she walked blindly through the corridors, lost in thought, she couldn't help but feel bad.

Their friendship (which had hardly begun) had just taken a huge step backward and she wasn't even sure why. She'd just gotten through saying how she would stop being childish and running away and here she was: running the hell away. The look on his face had been too much. His words had been too much. She felt her heart breaking all over again, because now she realized how she truly felt about him...

And it's a mistake, she thought, as she put a hand to her chest and slowed her steps. He's just a man after all. He doesn't want anything else from me. The friendship I thought we were forming was just a cover.

You're being an idiot, said another voice in her head and it was his voice.

Lucinda moved the hand that was on her chest and put it to her forehead. She tried to ignore the voice, but it spoke again.

I didn't mean anything by it, it said. You know that. You know the person I am. You're just afraid now that I only think of you as a piece of meat.

"That's not true," she mumbled to herself and squeezed her eyes shut.

It scares you to know that I am more than a friend and teacher. I'm also a man—a man that might just have lecherous thoughts about you.

Lucinda slammed her back against the nearest wall and slid down it, onto the floor. That isn't what I'm afraid of, she thought miserably and cradled her forehead in her hands.

Then what is it?

I don't know, Lucinda shook her head, trying to clear it. It's complicated. I'm afraid you don't respect me... and then I'm also afraid that you do, but that you might think of me as more than a friend.

Then the voice said, Why would that be so bad? And it was in her voice.

Lucinda sighed into her knees. It wouldn't happen. It wouldn't make any sense. It wouldn't be logical or morally right. He would have to be insane and that means he's either crazy or he does only think of me in a lecherous way...

But is it possible... she answered herself, that it really was just an accident?

Lucinda didn't move. She tried not to even think or listen to that voice in her head, questioning everything. The smart thing would be to stay away from him; to not let these thoughts and these feelings to go any further. If there came a day that she finally opened her heart to him, in such a way that she knew she probably would, she didn't think she could handle the rejection. She could already hear him saying those hurtful words: "I'm sorry I led you on, but you are just my student. I don't think we can even be friends now..." It was agonizing just thinking about it. When that day came, it would be ten times worse. She had to get over him now, before her heart had the chance to start loving him... She hoped it hadn't already.

~

"Hey, Lou... You do realize that the entire castle can see your panties, right?"

Lucinda's eyes flew open. She hadn't even remembered dozing off. With how fast her mind and heart had been racing, you wouldn't think it possible to fall asleep, leaned up against a wall in an indiscriminate corridor, but she had. Her mind must have been totally exhausted... and now she was startled awake by a pair of green eyes staring into her own brown ones.