Reverie Dyad

Chapter 50

Cole POV:

It's been 4 days since the accident. The pain hasn't faded not that I thought it would but I thought I would eventually feel somewhat okay with his death but I haven't. Iris and I decided we should go back to our lives and act like nothing happened

For my sanity, I need to act like nothing happened

I've watched the video of Reid dying in the penthouse over and over again trying to find any way he could have made it out but every time the footage cuts something inside me dies.

I never thought I could care for Reid as much as I do...did. Do

"Fuck" I sigh running my hand through my hair

Looking at the 5th glass of whiskey I've been nursing for the day I bring the rim to my lips and I down the rest of the content. The liquid burns my throat and I allow the pain. The numbness. The bitter and distasteful feeling of heartbreak or misery is all just blurred into one big word

Heart-misery-break

Putting the glass down I start laughing at my pathetic line

"I'm losing my mind" I smiled even though it didn't quite meet my eyes. Frowning at my glass I look up at the ceiling in defeat

I didn't want to drink today I promised Iris I wouldn't but every time I close my eyes I see the last moment we were together play on my mind on repeat.

He grabbed my face and kissed my lips pinning me against the elevator mirror taking me by surprise. His body felt right against mine so I grinned pulling away and getting shy

"We should have sex more" I murmured pecking his lips. He stared at my bottom lip and licked his lips

"Sure" He smirked pulling away. Cocky shmuck. The elevator doors opened and we chuckled walking into the penthouse

I never got to even say the words to him. I never got to tell him how much he meant to us. To me. And yet every touch and every kiss I tasted the words at the tip of my tongue and I felt them in every inch of my being and I never got to say it

I never will. It doesn't matter now, does it? Nothing matters

I don't even know if the Milly bot situation is fixed. I lost my phone in the explosion. I never- I don't want to talk or explain anything to anyone for a very long time

Whether they think I'm dead alive or rotting away in a grave somewhere who cares life goes on.
It just goes on and on

"Cole" I hear her whisper behind me. Sighing I try to mask how drunk I am but I stop trying midway. What's the point

She'll either yell or storm off and I'll just chase after her and she'll slam the door in my face. I'll plead with her to open the door and she will with tears in her eyes. We'll cry together and then I would make up an excuse to come back here to check the footage again instead of laying in her arms something I would then later regret so I'll drink some more just to feel something and forget

"Can you at least turn to face me?" she asked softly. Turning around I faced her only to find myself in the dark whilst she stood in the lit hallway

"Sorry, I didn't realize how much time had passed," I said squinting my eyes trying to adjust. Clearing my throat I looked at her "H-how are you"

"My dad told me to tell you that when you arrive tomorrow at golf to uh uhm have clubs because he only uhm has for himself," she said quietly while clutching to the blanket she wrapped herself in.

"Is it cold?" I asked because I was sweating and here she was wrapped in a thick blanket

"So golf?" She asked and I scratched my scruff. I completely forgot about this whole golf situation and honestly, I'm not- I don't want to do it without Reid if I'm being honest.