Opened Doors [COMPLETED]

The history behind my writings

Let me start by asking this question- Why do you think that I started writing, just writing in general? 
It was not because I loved to write, nor was it because I wrote well. It was, or rather is, that I have very few people to talk to, and have 'meaningful' conversations. Yes, I have issues with managing my feelings, or knowing how much I should share. Honestly, I don't think that I share much of my personal feelings with people around me, even those who are really close to me. And no, it is not because I don't trust them, but because I don't feel comfortable sharing with them. Communication, becomes really hard for me when I have a lot to say, but not knowing how to. This has always hurt me, and obviously the people around me. 

I do want to put it bluntly, that I never have the intention of hurting anyone. I know I have hurt people, and that is the sole reason behind me writing this. It took me a lot of time and of course courage, to be able to accept that and put it out here. It is, after all, a really sensitive topic that I chose today. I wouldn't have chosen it, if I didn't feel the need to express that for once, and for all. 

I am a very reserved person, by nature. Those of you, who know me personally, have obviously taken notice of that. It takes me very long to be able to open up to people surrounding me, and even when I do so, I share only fragments of all what I want to say. And that is the reason why I write. When I write, I don't limit myself. I write, endlessly regardless of how long that is, or how time consuming it is. Of course, I take into consideration that my words don't end up hurting someone, but other than that, it is my one and only freedom that I enjoy. 

The purpose of this piece of writing, was that you all get to know how, even for someone who loves to write so much, is difficult to bring words to talk, to actually talk in real life with people who really matter to me. And I would end it on this very note, sincerely apologizing to all those whom I have hurt in the past, knowingly or unknowingly.