Not so Lucky

Chapter Sixteen: Gummy's

I'm so very stupid.
So very very stupid.
Hell, this was a bad idea.
I woke up earlier than I usually wake up. I peeked at Faell and he was fast asleep. And stupid me tried to crawl out from the sheets because, I didn't want this confrontation to happen in the brink of daylight. But stupid me forgot that Faell is a cat.
A very sensitive cat.
I carefully try to stand but there's rapid movement from behind me. Faell grabs my waist and pulls me back onto the bed.
"Where are you going this early in the morning, gumdrop?" Faell says, pulling the blankets over us. I cringe at the nickname, fully understanding the intent behind it. His hand is still on my waist and I'm actually lying on it right now. The sensation is making me feel like combusting under his touch.
We're both facing the ceiling and I cast a brief  look at him. His eyes are still closed.
"Why do you call me gumdrop?" I ask.
He smiles faintly and sighs. "Because the first time we met you smelled like gummy bears." He said.
"Do you want to eat me?" I ask with a timid voice.
His face falls serious and I'm having a mini panic attack right now.
He could've laughed.
Why didn't he laugh?
That means it's not a joke.
Shit. He wants to eat me.
"About yesterday..."
He shifts so now his body is facing me. I don't face him though. And I hope to God his not going to make me face him.
"Your chicken burger is in the fridge," I say quickly.
Faell's eyes snap open and his brows knit together. After a silent moment he starts laughing.
"Lucky what are you talking about." He says sighing loudly. I still refuse to look at him. He senses this and pulls my body to his with the arm that was splayed around my waist.
"Is there something—" he gasps, his green eyes widening.
He fingered my hair and his mouth hangs open as he touched everywhere. "What...when...why...how." All of his questions don't make it out of his throat so I answer them choosing not to divulge into the small meaningless details.
He nods his head in understanding after my short story, his fingers still roaming my hair. "I still can't believe it," he says softly.
I notice his arm is bare, my eyes find his shoulder which is also bare. I fling off the covers and find him wearing sweats. Just sweats. His torso also fucking bare.
"Oh miGod Faell! Where the hell is your shirt!" I say, pushing away from him, I instantly heat up when he resists to let me go.
"It was too hot." He reasons with me.
He quirks a playful brow as I struggle with his one arm. I swear his too strong for his own good. "Are you feeling too much right now?" He says, a mischievous edge to his voice.
Yes, your suffocating me right now.
I ran out of energy fighting aimlessly at the one arm and totally give up, turning to jelly. And obviously Faell has to make me face him again.
My stomach flips when he smiles down at me.
It isn't his boyish smile.
It isn't his teasing smile.
It's not his arrogant smile or his childlike smile.
It's a smile that's laced with affection. Something I never saw before. My insides literally turn to liquid as it makes me think that that smile is somehow also laced with love.
I don't have the power to smile back because he zapped out everything in me with that one smile. He tucks a lock of stray hair behind my ear. "You remember that day when we went on a date?" He asked softly, his hand still posed behind my ear. I slowly nod unable to use my vocal cords. He glides his hand downward to my jaw and speaks again. "You remember how you thought the sky was beautiful?" He said, I swallow hard and start to nod again but immediately stop when he starts dragging his thumb across my jaw, making small waves crash against my stomach.
"Your eyes were blue, they were soo blue that day as you looked out at the sky. And for that one moment I forgot what oxygen was because, you were so beautiful, Lucky. I have never seen anyone look out at something and find peace. To be perfectly honest with you and myself, I wanted you to stare at the sky forever so I could stare at you forever."
His confession makes me feel like there isn't oxygen in my lungs nor the air. He slips his hand behind my neck and pulls me even closer until I feel the heat from his chest.
My stomach is a tsunami now. God bless my soul because I think I'm almost dead now. Near the damn brink.
"I think your the luckiest thing that ever happened to me, Lucky."  The sigh that passes his lips land on mine in soft waves.
I keep those words;
your
the
luckiest
thing
that
ever
happened
to
me
Lucky. 
I cherish those ten words and store them somewhere deep and secluded and warm and safe; where nothing else has ever ventured before.
To my heart.
"I love you, Luck." Faell whispers before his lips connect with mine.
***
"Is it me or you guys are looking like a real couple right now," Amber whispers to me with a playful smile.
I roll my eyes choosing not to engage with her Amber Antics.
"We were always a couple," Faell says, taking a beside me.
He winks flirtatiously and pushes a plate of pancakes toward me.
I sigh and literally inhale the pancakes.
"Soooo," Amber says, wiggling suggestive eyebrows at me. "What happened?"
I don't answer her and keep inhaling my pancakes.
"Good morning everyone!" Riley exclaims.
I turn in my chair and her eyes widen at me.
"Oh.    My.    Lord." She utters, slapping a hand to her gaping mouth. 
She rushes me and hugs me tightly. "You look amazing, girl!" She sings.
I laugh awkwardly. "Yeah thanks." I say.
She unwound's her arms from around me and utters a girly squeal. "No, really. This is awesome." She says smiles brightly.
I smile back. "Thanks Riley, I really appreciate it."
She takes a seat next to Amber and starts making her own plate of breakfast.
Faell leans into my ear and unwanted goosebumps rise on my neck. "Your so very awkward," he says.
I give him my best death glare. "Oh shut up."
He chuckles and spoons some pancakes into his mouth.
I snap my eyes away when I find myself staring and concentrate on my food.
Amber nudges my foot under the table. I glare at her and she shoots me a knowing smile, mouthing.
Your so obvious.
I raise my eyebrow.
She smiles again.
Stop staring, bitch.
Why is everyone trying to provoke me this morning; the only actual morning I come down to eat.
Before I can kick her under the table I freeze, my blood turning cold. Someone steps into the kitchen, I twist in my chair to see who it is and my eyes bulge out of there sockets.
No.
Not now.
Oh good Lord.
Kyle makes himself a cup of water and looks at us from above the rim, his cheek is still red from my earlier slap and I feel a tang of satisfaction from that.
I steal a quick glance at Faell and his hand is frozen in midair, his knuckles are white as he grips the spoon with force. His jaw ticks and a his eyes turn dark and deadly.
Faell drops his fork and pushes himself from the table at the same time he stands up, making the chair clatter to the floor.
Kyle is watching Faell as he steps towards him and without a word Kyle's punched square across the face. Kyle staggers back and  clutches his jaw.
"Oh my God! What are you doing Faell!" Amber stands from the chair. Her wide eyes find mine, she silently pleads to make them stop.
But I don't think that's possible.
Faell isn't done just yet. He grabs Kyle by the collar and makes him look at him.
"What made you think you can touch Lucky?" Faell growls menacingly. "I was upstairs, fucking upstairs. What right did you have to put your hands on her?" He says, the malice in his tone shocking only me but everyone else in the room.  
I never saw him angry.
It's terrifying.
His fist is shaking and his his jaw keeps twitching like his stopping himself from exploding as he waits for Kyle's answer.
Kyle's eyes land on me, all the regret from last night flooding his eyes and this makes Faell snap. "Why the hell do you keep look'n at her!" He yells. "Why the fuck are you looking at her     all     the       fucking     time!"
He shoves Kyle hard on the floor and sits on-top of him. "Oh my God you don't know how much that pisses me off." Faell says through clenched teeth.
He punches him on the face again and Kyle doesn't stop him from doing so.
"You make me wanna rip your fucking eyeballs out." Faell hisses punching him again and again and again. Kyle's blood splatters on the white marbles with each ruthless hit.
I stand; not knowing exactly what to do.
"Faell stop right this fucking second."
He doesn't, Faell keeps punching Kyle, his face deadset on the guy in-front of him.
"Faell. Stop. Now!" I yell.
Faell abruptly stops in the middle of his next blow.
He looks at me, eyes still dark and with a wild glint to them. "He kissed you Lucky while I was right here." He spits venomously. "Why does he think he has the audacity to touch you when your taken. Your mine."
Amber and Riley both gasp.
His eyes land back on Kyle and he grabs his shirt with both hands glaring the most piercing and dangers daggers at him but Kyle's head is limp.
"If you even bat an eye at her ever again. I promise to you I will rip your fucking eyeballs out."
He drops his head back and by the sound it made when it collided with the floor; I think Kyle's unconscious.
Faell breaths heavily, slowly standing up.
"Someone take him to the hospital." I say grabbing Faell's hand and pulling him with me upstairs. I freeze when I see a heartbroken Sara.
Shit.
Her eyes are glassy and she looks pale, like she'll faint at any moment. A tear slips from her right eye as her sad eyes land on me then Faell.
"Why..." she chokes out but she doesn't get to finish her sentence because she starts to sob pushing past us and running downstairs.
I shut my eyes, drowning in unwanted guilt.
I keep pulling Faell until we're behind closed doors.
I exhale and sink to the floor dropping my head back against the door.
Sara heard all that. Hell. Saw all that and I can't imagine how she feels right now.
"Lucky..." Faell says, his voice void and empty.
I don't answer him.
Why'd he have to be so vicious?
Oh my God. He knocked a guy unconscious with his fists.
"Would you leave me?" He says blankly.
My eyes snap open and I instantly rise to my feet. "Why would you say something—"
"You have no reason to stay with me. There are normal people out there better than a lost street cat."
I close my eyes trying really hard to understand where his coming from.
Faell yanks the beanie from his head and tosses it to the floor falling onto the bed. His ears are lowered in his head, an indication that his dejected.
"Answer my question, Lucky. Would you leave me for him?"
"Why the hell would I do that Faell?"
"Because..." he swallows hard, unable to continue that sentence. His head drops back and his eyebrows pinch in a pained expression.
"I'm not human Lucky. And ever since you took me from the streets I've been everything  bad luck."
"Faell don't say—"
"You know it's the truth Luck. I've been nothing but unhelpful this whole time. I'm just a pitiful cat you found on the steet who doesn't even know his name, my parents or my family. Hell. I don't even know if I was a cat to begin with or a guy." He rubs a frustrated hand through his hair gripping the back of his neck tightly.
I open my mouth to protest but he shakes his head, stopping me.
"I'm a..." he rubs his jaw trying to get rid of the tension. "I'm a black cat for God's sake. Why do you want to still keep me?"
I step closer to him. "So?"
He looks at me with the same look he gave me on the first day when he asked me if I was going to leave him.
Then everything just slams into place.
He has abandonment issues.
"Faell. A colour of a cat doesn't matter," I say softly, moving closer to him. "When I saw you in that alleyway I saw a cat. Just a normal, scared and confused cat."
He looks at me like he wants to believe me but there's something else troubling him. I can see it in his eyes.
Is it that bad.
What happened to him?
"Faell, your my cat I'm not going anywhere. I'm not dumping you for anyone. Your mine, dammit!" I say. 
The corners of his eyes pinch like his abstaining himself from crying.
I cross the rest of the room and stretch my hands out. "Do you believe me, Faell?"
He doesn't make any move in accepting my comfort and I feel a stab of hurt.
"You want to know exactly why I bought you that necklace?"
His eyes drop to his necklace and he fingers the chain. He shakes his head subtly, not meeting my eyes.
"I didn't want to lose you. I wanted it to be a mark so if your ever lost or taken I'll know it's you and I'll come and I'll find you." I say, trying my best to show him my conviction. "See, I never intended on leaving you."
He still refuses to meet my eyes.
"Faell, you haven't been a burden to me nor have I ever thought of you as unlucky. You are my cat, black or not. I always cherished you and I always will."
A tear slips from his eye and rolls down his cheek.
My hands are still outstretched and I'm having doubts that I'll eventually have to pull them back and get rejected.
"You don't think I'm unlucky, right?" He says quietly, his head still hanging low.
"I realised recently that luckiness and unluckiness don't exist, Faell. Everything is just circumstances and the outcome isn't always perfect. So no, you are not unlucky."
"Would you ever leave me?" He asks wearily, his voice dropping even lower.
I shake my head vigorously.
"No, not ever." I say firmly.
He pulled my arms and holds me tight.
I sigh relieved he didn't dismiss me.
He wraps his hands around my waist since I'm still standing and rests his head on my stomach. I pet his hair as he adjusts me between his legs.
"Faell, can I ask you a question?"
He hums and I can feel the vibration it makes.
I brush my hands through his hair looking for the right words.
"Do you really not remember anything?" I ask.
He blows out a long pained breath, his arms stiffening the slightest bit. "Sometimes," he says softly. "I would have these scary images. But other than that. No. I don't remember a single thing."
I process his answer.
I noticed he hadn't elaborated so he's probably still traumatised. He was without doubt been treated really badly; to think of himself so miserably. I heard people saying black cats are bad luck but to be honest that thought never crossed my mind once since Faell was with me.
I was always engrossed in bad luck so I haven't noticed anything at all.
I always thought it was always me.
That I was the magnet to bad luck ever since I was born so it made no sense to blame it on Faell who was just a black cat.
Faell's tension eases with the passing minutes and I can feel his breath become soft purrs.
"I told you not to touch my ears." Faell mumbles but doesn't make any move to stop me.
He pulls my waist until I'm seated on his thigh. "What are you thinking?" Faell says, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead affectionately.
I rub my collarbone and inhale, feeling an uneasy sensation settle in my stomach.
Faell gently pulls my hand away and plants a soft kiss on my knuckles, smiling reassuringly. I close my eyes and for the first time in a long time I voice my confession.
"I've made this belief since my mother passed away that the world was cruel and unrelenting. I always felt like the world made a judgement about me that since my name was Lucky they'll turn my life into an Unlucky one. Every time something bad happened I'll blame the world."
"I'm just starting to realise that maybe this whole time it wasn't the world I had a grudge on. It was God."
"But I forgive God or perhaps maybe the world for one reason because, for once, they made me feel Lucky. Because, for once, they gave me something lucky."
Faell smiles at me, the same smile I fell in love with. "And what might that be?"
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and rest my head in the crook of his neck. "You." I whispered. "Your the luckiest thing that ever happened to me, Faell."
***