This isn't love this is torture

chapter 9 - control

TW: blood, death, foul language, child abuse, shock collar

         All I could hear is laughter, the good kind. Not the laugh Donnie did when he hurt me. Irma leaned her head into my chest and laughed, tears coming down. Not the bad kind either.

             "And I said to him right-" Irma giggled "You better take your faggot ass outta here!" 

I laughed harder. Even though it was a shitty joke, It made me laugh. Irma wiped her tears as he fox tail started to stop wagging. I look over at the drawer with the hello kitty clock. 11:26 am. I frown as i turn to the pretty fox yokai next to me. 
             "I gotta go to the battle" I sigh as I stand up, pushing my h/c past my ear. She frowns but nods, she liked me but her job was pretty important. 

             "well my lady, I shall see you later" She gets up and bows, I blush and laugh. She laughs too as she leaves the room. I sit on my bed, rubbing my forehead. I shouldn't be falling in love all over again, it was already bad enough that I liked Donnie even though he was insane, but Irma? she was sweet, I couldn't bring her into my world of pain. I shake my head, bringing my knees to my chest. I rub my temples in confusion. Did I really like Irma? I mean she was funny, and she liked my company. But I just met her, well- She greets me every morning, I just haven't talked to her. I groan, why have I been ignoring this little yokai? Well I was the only human ever to fall in love with a mutant turtle and a fox yokai, well- maybe? I haven't got a clue about the world anymore.

            I stretch out my legs as I grab my purse, I rub my hand across the oak wood door, the smooth texture making me shiver in a way. I drag my hand to the handle, and turn it slightly. I open the door and look around the hallway, empty. I walk across the carpet with the paintings on the wall to the elevator. I press the button and wait. I pull out my Razer Phone, even though it was old as hell, but it brought early 2000s to me. I liked the early 2000s, bimbocore and scenecore was born during that time. 

                 ding 

          I walk into the elevator, it was empty. Good. I hated being in a shared space with someone. I take a picture with my Phone, sticking out my tongue and doing the peace sign. God I was cringe. Well I could post the pic later on my apple computer. Something that I adapted to while Donnie had me captive, was learning how to use tech. I guess I saw some of his coding from my test chamber. I didn't learn much but enough to make a simple robot. 

          The elevator stopped and I got out, some people where there. But than again I was 30 mins early for the game. I walked past the yokai as I navigated myself though the crowd to get to Big Mama's VIP room. The smell of warm tea welcomed my nose as I entered the neon lit room, the carpet so soft even under my shoes. I Look at Big Mama, a cocktail in her left hand, her red lipstick shining in the lights. I bow and she quickly runs to me, hugging me tightly

              "Oh Y/N! It has been eva too long boo" She coos me as she rubs her head into my hair while hugging me. I pat her back as she was cutting off my cirulation 

           "its only been a night" I chuckle as I hug her back

      "night, day, who can ever remember?" She chuckles as she leads me to our chairs. She sits on her huge chair, for her yokai form as well and I sit on mine. The soft comforter rubbing my back as I sigh, leaning into the soft chair. She smiles at me 

        "Dear, I have a wittle special battle for you! One of those turtlely boos are going to be attending" My ears perk up, turtles? Was she refering to-

    "Oh dear! the game is about to start!" She cheers, turning her head to the arena, I do the same. I dig my fingers in the chair, worried for who was fighting. What did Raph had to do to get Big Mama to let me stay with her? What did he promise?.. I bite my tongue, I look frantically around the arena. Looking for anyone, as I sat perched up on my chair above. My e/c searching for any life. Big Mama was doing her speech but I was spaced out. 

             "And let the game begin!" Big Mama cheered to the crowd as it went wild. Big Mama caressed my hair but I didn't care, I kept my eyes stared at the staidum. The left cage open, showing- I gulp. 

           I sink into my chair, my heart rate getting faster. It was my father, I hadn't seen him in years. So this was why Big Mama was caressing my hair, to keep me calm.

        "don't worry dear, it will be over soon" She coos and I try to relax. My father looks around the ring frantically, he seems weak and tired. A smile crept on my face, I quickly rasie my hand and cover my mouth. Big Mama smiles 

          "he deserves it" shes whipsers in my ear, I nod. He did. He left me for dead with my mother, he hit me, an alcoholic too. I put my hand to my side, as I let my smile get bigger. Than my fathers eyes saw mine, I waved at him, laughing. He gulped, and stepped back. For the first time, I felt in power. I was perched up in a safe area where my father was most likely to die. His old wrinkly body shook, as he scratched his head 

              The other cage opened, I stop laughing and turn my head towards the cage. My smile quickly fades away. Donnie..-

         "Y/N! Y/N! HI! HI! ITS YOUR SAVIOR RIGHT?!" He screams at me from below, I nod slowly. Donatello looked horrible, bags under his eyes, he looked tired and feral. Almost as if he was slowly rotting without me. I felt some guilt but I shook my head, as I made an awkward smile. As I waved slowly at him. Which only fueled him more, his grin grew wide. it was uncanny. 
        

              "BEGIN!" Big Mama roared as Donnie turned to my father. I could see Donnie's lips moving but I was too far away to hear. But than a laughter from my Dad was heard, I glared at him, my brows knitting together. Donnie smiled and charged at him, lunging almost. I was at the edge of my chair as I bit my lip. Donatello tackled my father to the ground, bitting at his throat, blood squirted out as I laughed, I stood up. I clapped my hands together 
         

           "Go Donatello!" I cheered, Big Mama raised a brow, she had never seen me be excited for death. Every time I was at a game, I was always closing my eyes and feeling sick. But not this time. Donnie perked his head up, smiling brightly at me. My father tried to catch his breath, failing as he tried to get out of Donnie's grasp. Don head snapped towards him, raising his fist and punching him hard in the stomach. I smile and giggle. 

        Than Big Mama raised her hand 

"D/N L/N IS DEAD!" she cheers, I stand up cheering. Donnie looked up to me, blood dripping from his face, his eyes gleaming at me. My eyes gleaming at his. I clap my hands, and Donnie smiles even more. He jumps up and down waving at me, he had definatly gone over the edge. But it was nice that I was the one in control this time. 

    I blow a kiss to him, He giggles loudly. I stand up and bow to Big Mama, I smile towards her.

"I think there should be a change in the contract you made with the turtles" I smile and she tilts her head, but smirks 

      "what do you propose boo?" She asks

        "I want Donatello as a pet, all to myself. Is that okay mother?" I say with pleading eyes, she noted the fact I called her mother and nodded her head. 

             "I suppose, how will you keep your turtle boo under control?" 

           I pause

"shock collar" I say coldly, it was pay back. I finally had an advantage, and I was going to use it. I smile and Big Mama chuckles

          "My, my! you are devious little one" She laughs as she nods once more "I will have arangements for your pet to arrive" Big Mama stands up, and walks towards the door as I follow behind. I smile to myself as we seperated paths. 

            Irma wasn't enough, she was funny and kind. But Donnie showed his power, he was insane, like me. And he was already in pain,  I didn't want Irma to feel what we feel. Donnie was already far away from sanity, he was perfect for me. I would teach him a lesson about shock collars as well. I press the button on the elevator and wait. I smile to myself even more as I go down, the elevator doors open to my room. I slip inside, falling to my bed. I let out a soft moan as I dream of Donnie. 

        I itch my neck, as I pant a bit. I was craving him so much, than I had an idea. I bit my tongue as hard as I could, I started to taste some blood in my mouth. I scrambled on the floor as I found the purple ice pack I threw earlier. I grab it and place it on my tongue. I smile, I didn't throw it. I wasn't in fear anymore, I was in control..