This isn't love this is torture

chapter 19 - whats the point?

again 2 lazy to put TW, so just be warned

        "fuck..." I grunt, as I fiddle around with the tube, trying to be quiet at the same time. I knew someone would come here eventually. I groan as the bandages on my neck itch, but I know I can't touch it, or I might snap my stitches-causing me to, you'know, bleed out again. Its a pain, not being able to scratch the back of my neck. It eases my mind, and my soul in a way. 

          I scramble around, putting away the heart monitor and not paying anymore attention to the tube thingy. It didn't matter anymore since the blood from the bag spewed out already. I might be able to finally finish the job this time without any interuptions- no. i don't deserve that kind of relief. I need to stay alive to live the pain I deserve, because I'm just too weak, too tired to do shit. It was a nightmare, but I deserve this fate. After all, no one else will love me like I love Donnie. Or, no one will love me like I loved Donnie. 

        I frown, realizing I should go back on the streets. Maybe I could find Irma and live with her, be a couple even. No, I can't be a burden again to her. I was so cruel and mean to that sweet girl, she doesn't deserve me. In fact, no one should feel the pain because of me. I'm just a walking disaster, aren't I? That's hard to admit to, but i'll get used to it. I have to. 

      My eyes look around, making sure its clear to run off. It hurt but not as much as anything i've done before. It was just my neck and my stomach that was injured, my legs were fine. Doesn't make much sense though, but logic has never been my friend. I nod as no one was rushing in for my aid. That wasn't nice, but I don't think they could hear when the heart monitor turned off, or the sound of blood spilling from across the lair. Can't really blame them. 

      I scurry across out of the lab, seeing the cell I once was captured in. I stop. I kinda missed that feeling. Of being stuck, but having that attention from Donnie. Maybe... I turn my direction towards the panel of the cell, like I was in a trance. My feet having a mind of its own. My fingers starting to fiddle with random buttons, seeing the cameras around the lair and just a tad bit outside as well. Seeing people walking across the manhole that covered the lair. It felt odd to see humans instead of yokai or mutants. Then I press a blueish button, a huge siren blares off in the background. 

       "shit." I say as I run out of the lab, I knew that they were going to try and catch me, but not this time. This time I will live in misery, I deserve it. And they won't stop me. I run past the skateboarding lobby, past the garage, and into the sewers. Not looking at anything or taking any detail. I can't pay attention to that now. I only have to think about escaping. But I slow down. Now that I think about it, no one had come running for me, or calling my name. I should be happy that no one was chasing me, but yet I felt sad that they didn't care at all anymore. My feet flop in the sewer waters as I reach the ladder into NYC. 

     I smile, trying to cheer myself up. Ignoring the agonizing pain coursing though my body that wasn't just physical but mental too. My shaky hand reaches towards the ladder, grabbing the slick wet rail, trying to push myself up. 

       "Y/N..." I hear a voice from behind me, leo's. How could I forget my so called 'bff'

        "Leo." Shifting my head towards him but still climbing up the ladder. 

      "I'm sorry.. I meant to visit you but its been hard since our dad died.. It hasn't been the same and I know you are going though a shit time right now but-" I could tell he was seincer, but I didn't care. 

      "someone died, huh? The fat rat man that never raised you? Maybe stop being such a selfish asshole and come aid your friend who is not only going though a midlife crisis, but dealing with an Eating disorder and trying to recover from suicide and kidnapping!" I scream at him, shifting my head back to the railings, climbing faster. I wasn't sad this time, I was full of rage. 

       But from behind me, I could hear my friend sobbing. Whispering 'sorry' over and over again, he didn't sound cocky like I remember, he was.. He was something? I can't tell. I pause, turning my head down where he was. 

       Leo had collapsed on the ground, his hands covering his face with his blue bandanna in the soggy wet sewer water. Tear droplets falling onto that same mask. I didn't take note that he didn't have his gear on, was he trying to be his true self? to show that he cared. I bit my lip. Sighing as I stop climbing up, but climbing down. But not to the point where I was face to face with my friend.

      "why did you come for me?" I say bluntly, hiding the fact that I felt bad for making him cry. He looks up at me, his red strips seeming dark as his eye bags underneath his sad pupils. His face seemed dry from all the crying, I know that feeling all too well..

         "everyone has given up on you.." He whispers, "they say that 'your unstable' and 'its hopeless'. Mikey still loves you but he agrees with the others. But Don made that alarm for you to find, when he took.. you'know.. captive"  He takes a heavy breath, a heavy shaky breath. I knew he didn't like what Don did. I mean I didn't either but I think Leo feels bad because he could of saved me from his twin if he paid more attention to Donnie, and went in his lab more often even if Donnie wouldn't let him. 

      "So that- if you escaped.. he could get you.. But when everyone heard the siren go off. Nobody moved.. I can't stand their cruelty, your lost and need someone.. I still love you Y/N, your my best friend.. even if you don't want me to be near you.." 

      I stare at him in shock, falling off the ladder (wasn't high or anything, hurt a bit but I was fine) and landing next to him. I touch his cheek, noticing that my own tears were starting to form. Well so much for hidding my feelings, but I can't think about that now. I look at Leo in the arms, I can't believed no one else cared but him. He was too kind for me. Then the waterworks came, I fell into his arms in a deep hug, sobbing into his plastron as he soon starts to do the same to my dirty clothes. 

     "hic I- mi-missed you so-so much bro!" I cried

   "Same here- Y-Y/N!" He sobbed. 

          I think we both looked like a mess. Even after everything, he still cares. I didn't care about anyone else, this man was the only one to truly care about me. He was my only real friend, and it felt too new to me. But it felt good, to not be obsessed with someone but have a relationship that was healthy and caring. 

       "never leave me again" I whisper quietly 

         "I promise" he whispers back

OMG THIS TOOK not very long lmao, ANYWAUUYS SRRY ABT THE TITLE MISTAKE LAST TIME I CHAGNED IT DW !!!!!!! ty for all the love, I didn't think so many ppl would love my silly fanfics :3