✓ BECAUSE WE WERE YOUNG | NIKI

10 - Hospital Visit

Upon arriving back at Hope Haven, Niki and I are brought to the hospital and... they call my father. Of course they do. He's the first person they call in emergencies, the designated contact for situations like these. I can see the worry etched into his features as he rushes into the hospital room, his eyes darting between me and Niki, taking in the scene before him. My injured leg and Niki's injured arm. What a  pair we make. 

"What happened?" I can't tell if my father is worried, angry, or confused. Maybe he's all three at once. His brows are furrowed in concern, his lips pressed into a thin line, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes. His voice is tight with concern as he approaches, his hands hovering uncertainly as if unsure where to touch first.

"We had a little accident at the park," I sigh. "There was a branch that fell, and Niki pushed me out of the way. We both got hurt."

"Where were you for all this to happen?" Oh shit, I didn't tell him we were going to the park and I know he's starting to get angry because he's so worried. He has the same expression as that day when I almost drowned in the lake, and he found out I had gone there alone without telling anyone, that mix of fear and frustration etched on his face. "Talk, Y/N."

"We just went for a walk," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't think it would be a big deal." I hate that this has to happen in front of Niki, and though he doesn't hear us, I know he can tell something is amiss from our expressions and body language.

"You know better than to wander off without letting anyone know. Don't you remember the last time you did it? You could have died and I wouldn't even have known where to find you. Just tell me Y/N, do you ever stop for a moment and think about what I might feel when you disappear like that?" I do understand that he was once terrified and that right now, he's just worried. But I know exactly why he's worried, and it's not because I went to the park without telling him. 

"Would you be this worried if I wasn't sick?" I blurt out, and before I realize it, the words are out there, lingering in the air between us. I look into his eyes, at the way the realization hits him and the way he visibly flinches at my question. "Am I wrong? You're always so worried about everything that happens to me and the first thing you think of when someone calls you with news about me is whether my lungs are holding up. I'm not just my lungs. There's a whole life at eighteen that's waiting to be lived, and sometimes it feels like you forget that." 

I always wondered about this. Whether he'd be this worried if I was a normal, healthy teenager. If I didn't have to carry around an oxygen tank wherever I went, if I didn't have to worry about my lungs failing me at any moment, would he still hover over me, fretting about every little bump and bruise, every slight cough or sniffle? If he would still rush to my side at the slightest sign of discomfort, his face etched with concern and his heart heavy with worry.

My father's expression softens, and he takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently wipe away the tears that have started to trickle down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know it might seem like I'm overprotective or that I'm always focused on your health, but it's only because I love you. You're my daughter, and seeing you struggle with your health breaks my heart every single day. I just want to make sure you're okay, that's all." His words hit me like a wave, washing away some of the resentment and frustration I've been carrying. I know he's right, that it's not easy for him either. But it's not easy for me either. It's not easy to feel like my entire existence is defined by my illness, like I'm constantly tiptoeing around my own fragility, afraid of what might happen if I let my guard down for even a moment. "And I know you're not just your lungs. You're so much more than that."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, sniffling a little. Why am I being so hard on him? He's only trying to protect me, to keep me safe in a world that feels like it's constantly trying to knock me down. "I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. I just... I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes, like I can't do anything without someone watching over me." And that's exactly why I went to Hope Haven in the first place. I needed to be away from my father and it's not because I don't love him or appreciate everything he does for me—it's quite the opposite. I crave independence, but it's difficult to find when I'm constantly surrounded by concern and worry.

"Are you okay?" I watch as my father signs, and Niki's eyes slightly widen in surprise at the gesture. I probably forgot to tell him my father and I have both been learning sign language. 

"I'm okay. Thank you for asking." He signs hesitantly, glancing at me with both surprise and gratitude in his eyes. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to me—to both of us. 

"I'm glad. Thank you for being there for Y/N." I watch as my father smiles and Niki bows politely at him. For a moment, he's staring at Niki's shirt and his eyes widen in realization. "Your shirt... did you tear it to make a bandage?"

"It's nothing." Niki's response is modest, but my father's gaze lingers on him and I know what he's thinking. Gosh, he's not going to let me hear the end of it. "I'm sorry Y/N got hurt. I didn't mean to cause any trouble." I want to tell him that it's not his fault, that perhaps I would have ended up with a broken bone if it wasn't for his quick reaction. But before I can voice my thoughts, a nurse walks to us and informs us that we can leave since our injuries aren't too severe. My father thanks the nurse and helps me up, his arm steady beneath mine as we make our way out of the hospital. Niki follows close behind, his gaze shifting between us, perhaps feeling like an outsider. I smile at him, attempting to reassure him that he's not an outsider, that he's a valued part of my life.

I don't know much about his family, just the fact that after the accident that cost him his hearing, they didn't really accept the fact that their son was now deaf. I don't know where he lives, whether he studies or not, where he spends his days when he's not at Hope Haven. In fact, I know nothing about him, only that he's become an integral part of my life in a relatively short amount of time.

When we reach my father's car, Niki signs to us. "I'm sorry for causing trouble. I will go now-" His fingers slow down when my father shakes his head and smiles. 

"Tell him we're going to buy him a new shirt," He says. "And dinner, if he'd like to join us."