✓ BECAUSE WE WERE YOUNG | NIKI

13 - Five Frangipani Petals

"Invite us to your mansion," Jake says as the five of us sit in the back garden, painting along with the rest of the people in Hope Haven. I'm painting a Frangipani flower, Niki is still drawing something he doesn't want to show us yet, Jay and Sunghoon are fighting over who's going to draw the best sunset, and Jake is, well, he's attempting to paint something that looks like a deranged cat. "I'm talking to you, Jay, don't act like you're Picasso or something."

Jay, who's been silent all this time, puts his brush down and raises his eyebrow at Jake. "It's not my mansion. My parents are the ones who own it." At that, Jake's expression turns into pure disgust and I have to stop myself from snorting. 

"You're the most spoiled rich kid I know," Jake rolls his eyes so dramatically I almost think he's going to dislocate them. "I bet your mansion has a private movie theater and a pool the size of a lake. You probably have a butler and a private chef waiting on you hand and foot too." 

Jay shrugs, seemingly unfazed by Jake's comments. "Is that what you really think of me? That I'm some sort of stereotypical rich kid living in a mansion straight out of a movie?"

"I mean, you kinda are," Jake retorts, a mischievous grin on his face. I understand he's joking and it might be okay for him to act this way with Jay since they've been friends for so long, but I still find it a bit uncomfortable to witness. Jay, however, looks like he's not so bothered by Jake's jokes.

"Well, let me shatter your illusions," He sighs, folding his arms against his chest. "No private chef, no butler, and the pool is just a regular-sized pool. The movie theater is a thing, though."

Jake feigns disappointment, dramatically placing a hand over his heart. "My dreams of attending a pool party at a mansion are shattered. But hey, we can come to your movie night and pretend we're VIPs, right? You're not about to deprive me of one of my simple joys in life, are you?" Jay shakes his head in disbelief while Jake tilts his head down to look at him. "Come on, even Niki and Y/N will come if you invite us. Please be a good sport and let us have a taste of the high life, Jay."

"Jake, stop it. His parents might not be comfortable with inviting a bunch of people over," Sunghoon, the most mature one of us, I realized, says, making Jake raise his hands in surrender. "Let's not pressure Jay into something he might not want to do-"

"No, I want to invite you guys over." For the first time since I first met the three of them, Jay is smiling a genuine smile. It makes me think of all the times I've seen him laugh, the way his eyes light up when he's truly happy. "I just need to talk to my parents about it first. But I'm sure they won't mind having you guys over for a movie night or something."

"You're my best friend." I smile at the way Jake shoots a glare at Sunghoon who's now smirking, clearly enjoying the banter. "And you're a lifesaver, Jay. I was starting to think I'd never experience the high life."

"You're too much." Sunghoon scoffs, glances at me and then at Niki who's still, apparently, making his very secret drawing. Then he looks back at me and I raise my eyebrows. "Can you tell him we're being impatient? We want to see what he's drawing."

I chuckle and nudge Niki's arm, making him look up at me. Suddenly, I forget how to breathe when his gaze goes from my eyes to my lips and then to my eyes. I still haven't forgotten about our kiss, my first kiss. I will never forget it, the way his lips felt against mine, the warmth of his touch, the way my heart soared in that moment. But the fact that it keeps popping in my mind whenever I'm around him makes me feel both exhilarated and nervous at the same time.

"Sunghoon wants to know what you're drawing," I manage to sign, hoping Niki doesn't notice the way my hands tremble, and hoping that the three others don't notice the way my cheeks must be flushed with embarrassment. "What are you drawing that's so secretive?" I sign, leaning in to get a closer look at his sketchbook but he quickly flips the sketchbook shut. 

"It's a surprise," He signs, putting it down next to him. "It's not done yet. Tell him I'll finish it later." 

I nod, still curious about what he's working on but respecting his desire to keep it a secret. Our eyes lock again for a few seconds before I quickly look away, clearing my throat as if nothing had happened. I wonder if he's thinking about our kiss too, or if it's just me replaying the moment over and over again in my mind. I must be out of my mind. "He says it's not finished yet. He'll show us once he's done with it." 

"Lame," Jake says and I almost choke on my own breath, trying to suppress a laugh. "He must have painted something so embarrassing he doesn't want us to see it. Sunghoon, my boy, I see that you're losing." He's looking back and forth at Sunghoon and Jay's paintings and shaking his head as if he's witnessing the most epic battle of the century. He's actually right, Sunghoon's painting is a far cry from what the rest of us had managed to create. You could put it among the famous artists' works and it would still stand out, but not in a good way. It's like a child's doodle compared to Jay's masterpiece.

"I'm not losing," Sunghoon shakes his head while he adds a few touches to his sunset painting. "I'm just taking my time to create a masterpiece. Unlike some people here."

"Art is subjective," Jake defends himself, waving his paintbrush in the air dramatically and I can't help but laugh at the sight. It's moments like these, surrounded by friends, that make me forget about my struggles, my fears, and my illness. For a brief moment, I feel like a normal teenager, enjoying life and making memories. "Who's to say my deranged cat isn't a masterpiece in its own right?"

The five of us, like the five petals of my Frangipani flower painting, continue to banter and laugh, enjoying each other's company under the warm afternoon sun. I glance at Niki, who's now focused on his drawing again, his brow furrowed in concentration. I wonder what he's drawing, what thoughts are running through his mind as his pencil moves across the paper. My world suddenly goes quiet as I stare at him, at the way his plump lips part slightly as he concentrates, the way his dark hair falls across his forehead in gentle waves. He looks so peaceful, so lost in his own world, and for a moment, I find myself mesmerized by his presence.

But then he looks at me and I'm suddenly jolted out of my trance. His gaze meets mine, and I feel a flush of warmth spread across my cheeks as I quickly look away, pretending to be interested in my painting. When I feel his hand reaching to touch mine, I can't help but steal a quick glance at him. "Do you want me to show you what I'm working on?" 

I swallow hard, feeling a lump form in my throat as I nod, and before I know it, he's discreetly handing me his sketchbook for me to take a look at. As I flip through the pages, I finally find the one he's been hiding from us, from me, and that's when I realize the reason why. It's a drawing of us when we... I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I stare at the image, reliving the rush of emotions that swept over me when we first kissed last night. I gently trace my fingers over the page, over the lines that form Niki's beautifully detailed depiction of that moment. The way he's drawn our expressions, the way our hands touched, the way our hearts connected in that fleeting moment—it's all there, immortalized in graphite and paper.

Closing the sketchbook, I let it rest on my lap before I glance back at Niki who's waiting for my reaction the way a painter waits for the first light of dawn. "It's... perfect." My hands pause and I just look at him, knowing that nothing would convey just how much this simple drawing means to me. I'm now realizing how Niki is so good at both slowing time and freezing it, and it's such a beautiful gift he's given me.