Autumn is a second spring

33. Lost

"Where is he?" Sammy asks emotionlessly. 

"Inside the dressing room," Fluke knew that she was referring to Prem.

Both he and Prem were shooting a new series named 'Poster Colours' which was a multi-lead project. They were playing the main lead in this thriller comedy.

"Go give this to him" She commanded handing over the packed lunch box that the crew had prepared for everyone in the set.

"Why don't you give it to him yourself?" Fluke didn't even bother to lift his head to look at her.

"I have many other things to do" She lied with a straight face.

"So do I" Fluke retorted.

"Great!" She exclaimed, "Let him starve then!" 

"If you care about him so much, then why don't you just go in and check on him?" Fluke knew that Sammy was very worried about Prem taking on back-to-back projects without a break but was unwilling to admit it.

"I don't care for him. I am his manager, so I don't want him to faint and cause trouble in the set. That's why I got him food. Nothing else" She said stubbornly.

Fluke sighed closing his script to look at his pregnant friend. "Sammy... "

"Don't Sammy me, alright? It was he who wanted me to be more like a manager than a nosy best friend! And here I am! I am not going to take the blame for anything. " She was adamant.

The simple comment Prem passed the other day had deeply impacted her. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. She had yet to forgive him completely for the matter.

" Sammy, no one is blaming you for anything, alright? " Fluke said softly. He could sense that there was something bigger that was bothering her than just Prem's words.

He gently took her hand. " Come sit here. " He placed his cushion on the plastic chair next to him for Sammy to sit.

With a prominent pout on her lips, she settled on the seat. It was the eleventh week of her pregnancy, and she was starting to hate anything and everything around her.

The continuous dizziness, boosted by the heightened sense of smell, only made things worse for her. She often experienced pain similar to period cramps and had varying levels of hormones in her body that was yet to settle down. All this made her fussy from head to toe.

"Now, tell me why you aren't talking to him," Fluke asked amicably.

"I just don't have anything to talk to him about" Sammy shrugged.

"Sammy..."

"I just don't want to be snapped at, alright!" Sammy huffed "I don't want to end up something that wouldn't like and have another showdown. I hate having to walk on eggshells around him."

"He was just stressed, na. Sam. He already apologized to you that day, right?" 

"And I forgave him! Alright? I totally forgave him!"

"You don't look like you did, dear."

Sammy glared at Fluke, but the latter could only smile and act as if he couldn't feel the lasers his friend was shooting at him with her eyes.

"Seriously, Fluke?"

Fluke blinked not understanding what Sammy was talking about.

"You seriously want me to talk to him?" She asked.

"Yes?" He answered tentatively.

"I can't. I just can't"

"But why dear?"

"Because he is not our friend anymore, Fluke. He is not the Prem who grew up with us. He is a total stranger now and I have no interest in talking to strangers." Sammy hmphed.

Fluke's eyebrows knitted together, not completely understanding what Sammy was trying to say. "Sam, what are you talking about? Did something happen?"

"What else is there to be happy, Flukie? Isn't everything happening right in front of your eyes?"

"What's happening?"

"Don't you see what is going on in Khun Prem's life? I did rather stay one mile away from him than get involved in his mess."

Fluke took the lunchboxes from her and placed it on the makeshift table next to him. "Sammy, tell me whatever is bothering you. Did you two fight again?"

"I didn't have any fight with anyone. I just decided to mind my own business and not be nosy about others' life like you are being right now." Sammy said with a sarcastic scoff.

"I have always been nosy about you three's life," Fluke could already smell the flame that could turn into a wildfire if he didn't put it out sooner from his girl bestie.

"Samsam, don't be mad at me, na" Fluke tried acting cute. He had to calm her down before extracting new information from her.

Sammy cringed hearing Fluke call her Samsam. It was a name only Fluke called her, especially when he knew that he had done something to piss her off. Not that she hated being called that but it reminded her of all the times she wanted to smack him but couldn't do it at all because of his cute act.

"Save your cute act for your P' Ohm. I am going to puke if you keep acting like this" She pushed her friend away.

Fluke sat at the place he was pushed to, still eyeing his friend pitifully, making full-on puppy eyes that always won the hearts of all the mothers as it triggered the maternal instincts in every woman.

But this dangerous weapon wasn't very effective on Sammy. She had grown immune to it as she had seen those eyes from childhood.

She sighed heavily, clearly realizing that Fluke was not going to give up until she told him everything. "Don't you think that Prem has changed a lot? Like he is barely recognizable now."

"What do mean, Sammy?"

"I mean..." She sighed again "I miss the old Prem very much, Fluke. The goofy, dorky, happy Prem. I really miss him. I hate the way he is being now. I hate that he changed so much. So much that I don't even remember seeing him smile genuinely."

Fluke wrapped his hand around Sammy's shoulder, gently pulling her against himself as he rubbed her shoulder as an act of consoling her.

"I- I don't know, Fluke." She burst into tears. "I feel so bad for him."

"You don't have to, na," Fluke said softly. "We all grow up. So did he. What's the big deal?"

"We just grew up. But we are still the person we used to be. In Prem's case, it is not same. I don't like him being like this, like a candle, melting himself away just so that others could have light in their lives."

"I understand what you are trying to say, Sammy. When people face challenges, they then to change themselves to adapt. That is something that happens in the coarse of our lives."

"Do you not realize anything, Fluke?" Sammy stood up staring at her friend in exasperation. "Our friend, Prem has lost himself! He lost his smile! He lost his happiness! He lost his emotions! He lost his own being! He only lives to prove himself to P' Boun and his family!"

"Sammy... I~"

"No Fluke, don't even try defending P' Boun. I am a hundred per cent sure that my friend deserves someone who is better than him. Prem deserves to be cherished like you and me. Do you think he doesn't want that? He does. But he settles for what he gets because he so blind in love. And I don't find it acceptable!" Sammy was fuming mad as she finished.