Letters to Jimin

# Letter 28

Hi there....
How are you doing?
Hope your days are not hectic, that  you  are getting a lot of rest for your body and mind. Even though we don't get to see you guys enough I hope this period helps all of you to get some much needed rest both physically and mentally. I hope you guys are safe and well...

My days are just passing by.... without any purpose... without any meaning...I don't know.
I think I am sending people away...this year too.
One of my friends moved to another continent for higher studies. I am happy for her and all the opportunities that await her , also there's a gloomy feeling of loss too.
She's much younger than me and I have seen her growing up, quite literally.
I am living away from home and honestly I don't have many friends here too..
So it's hard to lose people who are close and be a part of your everyday life.
There is a huge time gap between us now and I am hoping to stay in touch as much as possible.
All my close people are living in other continents now...I don't know what to say anymore....

We used to talk a lot... random things, BTS related things and lots of personal stories. This one time, I was jokingly telling her my past experiences and she asked me ' Did you come out of all that trauma? It was a lot...right?'

I was taken off guard for a moment. Maybe I am kind of living like a fool? Most of the time I don't realise or remember the bad things or experiences in such a way that would connect to a lot of my fears or behaviours.

It was kind of an epiphany...you know.
I just knew, I never recovered from it. The trauma just became a part of me, like an old habit. All the insecurities and the fears that came afterwards, it was rooted in that traumatic experiences. Wow! I was blown away.

It's important to know how to ask right questions...right?
I think I am not good in that field...I don't know how to respond or ask questions according to the situation. Hmm...I need to do a lot of work I guess. I will try to do better Mimi.

I know you are someone with lots of empathy and kindness in you and I hope that you have a lot of people who asks you right questions and listen to you without any judgement.
I wish you more love and light on your way.....

With love
Army ❣️