Waiting for War

Amy

Classes are harder this year. I already have a paper due at the end of the week. And an even bigger essay due at the end of next week. All I have the time to do is study and that leaves me very little time to check up on Katie—who is, by all accounts, not doing hot. She's a very private person, which I understand. I may be very blunt and too talkative but there are things I do not tell anyone. And I know she has those things too. Her feelings about her mom are one of them. I wish I was someone she could come to when she's feeling down or frustrated, but it seems she won't tell anyone. I try not to get down on myself, if she doesn't talk to anyone why would she talk to me. But there's another feeling that creeps underneath these thoughts. The feeling of being untrusted.

I know that she's lost a lot of people, but I won't be one of them and I don't think she's capable of seeing that as of right now. I don't want to bring any of this up to her because I just don't want to hurt her more than she is already, but sometimes she's just plain distant. It's honestly harder for me to understand than this essay that looks like french.

i sigh, fold up my stylus and shove it back into my watch. the essay is giving me a head ache. if i have to talk about one more way that being a technician is meant to change the world i might throw up. my bed looks inviting but i know we have prearranged dinner at 530 am which is in less than an hour. i sigh and look up at the big digital clock over the door and wait.

and wait.

and wait.

katie's gone, probably off in the library her usual hub. she's researching the game and doing a different essay i'd assume.

and then after thinking i do some more sitting.

and waiting. why does time go this slow when i want it to go fast? by the time dinner comes around i will have aged five years. or maybe ten. maybe im exaggerating.

nah.

the bell rings above my head.

finally a place to be.

i rush towards the kitchen. i must find katie. tragically she's already at the table. and there is already a crowd glommed onto her. i shake my head and retreat to the other end of the table. where no one is yet.