Waiting for War

Ken

I wake up and feel disappointed. I feel a lot better. A lot further from my goal. I sigh and get up. I'm taking a shower again.

I feel the hot water rattle against my back. Even my skin has more color. I need to ask Luke what happened. I don't remember anything.

I sigh as I let the water pour onto my face. I push my hair back, feeling the water drain down my back.

I remember being warm. And I remember waking up because I was cold.

I form a lather of woodlands mint shampoo between my palms.

I feel lonely, a feeling that I seldom feel. I've always been alone. I've always wanted to be alone. I needed to be alone, so why do I feel this way now. Like I need other alasians. Not other alasians. Her.

And I can't have her.

I lather my hair, thick and soft. Feelings, feeling the water. The soap, my hair, my skin, this is my only escape from my head.

Feeling the world around me makes it real, realer than my head makes it feel.

"Ken, we have class in ten!" Luke yells from the other side of the door. "Hurry up, I heard we're learning about transforming this semester," he sounds excited. It makes my blood sour.

"Just go, I'll meet you there," I insist.

"If I leave you'll skip class," he counters.

Darn.

I guess I can't get away with it this time. I just want to sleep. I just want to die. I just want to be alone.

But he doesn't leave me alone.

He walks to my first class with me. He sits next to me in class, his hair back in a messy bun. Kally is in this class too. She joins us.

They start talking, I shove my hood up and rest my head on the desk.

"Ken, you will be a perfect example for our next chapter, why don't you come up here for a moment," it was a mistake to put my head down. I press my body away from the desk and step up to the teacher.

"Have you ever transformed before?" She asks, looking at me excitedly. Murmurs race around the room.

"Yeah," I say, bored.

"Well then, show us won't you," she smiles.

"I said I've done it before, not that I know how to," this woman.