Waiting for War

Kassie

What else does Kally have to say? I can't go with her. I can't talk to her. I can't betray my mom like that. But I can't tell my mom about her, because... and it hurts to say it but she is my best fiend. I can't betray her either.

My mind is saturated in mixed images of Terrence's smiling face. Henry killed his father for I don't know what reason. They killed Rose. They killed Ken's parents. Who else will they kill once they're done with Katie. Who's next? I can't keep my eyes closed if what they are doing is wrong. My mom believes in power and being strong over everything, but how far is she willing to go?

I love my mom, I have to follow what my mom wants. It's what she expects from me, so why do I feel so nauseous every time I think of killing Katie. Every time I think of all of the others that have died. Everyone who is going to die. I feel morally responsible for all of it. But why? I'm not doing anything.

And I guess that's the problem. I'm not doing anything to help or hinder it. I'm letting this destroy me. I'm letting this destroy other alasians. Am I going to be the one that stands by and lets them all die? What about my other friends that were in the room? What about Kally? Will they kill her when they find out she's not on their side of the equation. How am I supposed to decide between my mom and the future, that's always been uncertain.

If I'm the chosen one as the creatures believe what does that mean? What am I chosen to do? How am I supposed to fit into this puzzle? As far as I run, I will never escape my fate. It makes my heart race and my head throb and I have no choice but to continue. I can't ignore this forever. The future won't wait for my decisions. The future will bring whatever it wants, and I have a role whether I want it or not.

But what does it mean?

I need to go back to the room but I can't face Kally. If I face Kally I face the future. If only I could be back inside my freshman year on top of the building with Terrence staring out at the beauty of the world. If only I could take this sword out of my heart and do the right thing. But what is the right thing? Maybe my mom is right, maybe they're all wrong and if I turn on her it will bring destruction to the world. But, but what if they're right, and she destroys this world herself.