However it goes, it ends in pain.

Chapter 8

'Hello Amra, I am Dr. Sakina' she turns to my mother with a smile. 'We've checked your vitals, there's no internal bleeding, but we think you may have suffered a brain injury. Your broke your ankle, which has been treated. The nurse will carry out the necessary tests and we can move forward.

But from the look on my mother's face, I'm pretty sure all she heard was 'BRAIN INJURY'

'Brain injury?' my mother whispers.

'Yes, due to the impact of the crash, she may have suffered a basal skull fracture. When she came in, she seemed fine, but some minutes later we noticed bloody liquid leaking from her ears and nose, after carrying out a CT scan, luckily, we were able to detect something. We're not yet sure what it is. The nurse will carry out a MDCT and then we'll know how to proceed.'

My mother has started praying. And as much as I want to act tough, I am also terrified. All this, because of my fear. My mom' panic worsens, and my dad takes her out for fresh air. The doctor and nurse leave the room. I am left alone.

I stare blankly at the weird window; the sun is beginning to set; I imagine it seven pm. It's been three hours since the accident.

The door opens, but I don't turn to see who it is.

A low deep sound vibrates the room, which moments ago felt drained of energy and life, already feeling small.

He clears his throat again. This time I turn to look at him. He's very tall. One of the tallest men I've ever seen. The man from the hallway is in dressed in a blue shadda, with a matching blue cap, and dark blue slippers. The sleeves of the shadda are folded up his biceps, I notice his muscles and veins. On his right arm there's a silver wrist watch.

I look away. 'Did—'

'How—' we start to say at the same time.

He motions for me to speak. 'Did you bring me to the hospital?' I ask

He folds his arms across his chest. 'Yes.'

'Thank you.' I wait for him to speak. But when he doesn't say anything, I ask more.

'What happened?'

He looks at me. 'You crashed, I brought you here. Then called your mother.'

'Thank you.' I repeat. Not knowing what to say. 'How can I ever repay you?' I don't like being in debt.

I am starting to get attracted to this tall brooding man in my hospital room.

Or I may just be really concussed. I remind myself that just days ago, Usman yelled at me.

The nurse returns with a wheel chair. Another man enters the room.

'Amra?' he asks.

'Nurain?' I hope to God I got his name right.

'Hi, oh my God. I'd say it's nice to see you, but I don't think it's a nice thing that you're in the hospital.' He moves closer to me.

'Yup. Not good at all, got in an accident'

'Yeah, Ali told me.' He turns to his tall brooding friend. 'Ali, Amra, Amra, Ali'

'Hi' I say.

Ali grumbles a greeting in reply, and leaves the room.

I'm in too much pain to think much of it.

'I'm sorry, he's like that with everyone.'

'It's okay' I laugh. It's very okay in fact, it makes the process of hating him much easier. Like I always do, I mentally recognize 'Ali' as a man capable of harming me. There, done.

The nurse helps me onto the wheelchair, it takes us about three minutes. Three minutes I find really awkward.

She then begins to wheel me out into the hallway. 'Allow me' Nurain says to her.

She leads the way, and Nurain pushes the wheel chair and Ali follows us. I can't see him, but I can tell, from his perfume, from the aura in the air.

Amra! Internally I exclaim, I am very attracted to this man. Truth is, even though I hate men. I recognize a good looking one, but it's not just the looks, it's the energy, the vibe of that person. Because Nurain is really good looking, but I deceive myself that he's appalling- to avoid liking him more than his money.

'Amra!' I'd recognize that voice anywhere. Amira. She stops in front of me in a crouch, her knees touching my legs. She's wearing a blue co-od set with a yellow turban that looks out of place.

She looks like she ran here. I start laughing.

'Girl, what happened to you' I ask.

'To me?' her eyes widen as she scans me. We've now stopped, the nurse looks irritated. Hey! It's not my fault I'm so popular. We're now in a thankfully, empty long hallway.

'Your mom called panicking; said you got in an accident'

'Yes. Get up, I'll tell you everything.' I say when I notice the nurse's glaring eyes. 'I think the nurse is going to finish me off' I say in a whisper.

Amira stands up and looks around, as if only noticing that she and I are not alone. 'opps' we both giggle.

We enter the room on the left of the hallway. The nurse tells all three of my accomplices that they need to wait outside. I don't know if she is being nasty, or if they actually need to.

Amira tells me she'll give Usman a call- my mother rung Habeel and he's on his way. Apparently, Usman didn't pick her call.

And Nurain promises to see me again.

The process of the scan is a blur to me. Getting in and out of the wheel chair makes me dizzy.

Amira takes me back to me ward, which is now crowded with my parents, Habeel, and Maimuna who I'd seen just a couple of hours ago. I am no longer mad at her.

To my disappointment, Ali is gone.

My dad exists the room with the nurse, something about moving me to a bigger ward.

I stay in the wheel chair, since we'll be moving soon anyways.

There is so much chatter, I have to narrate everything to Amira. I tell her I crashed into a pole, I say nothing about speeding because of fear.

My is mom scolding Habeel for him not visiting her in a long time. 'My daughter has to get in accident for me to see you Habeel'

'Mommy don't say that!' everyone laughs.

A little while later a different nurse returns and helps us move to a bigger hospital room. I start feeling sleepy, and the minute I get settled in my new ward. I fall asleep.

When I wake up, it's a little before sunrise, the blinds are pulled down that I can't see much of outside. I manage through the dark room to the bathroom and make wudu.

When I come back outside, the lights are switched on and Amira is on the couch directly facing the bathroom.

There's already a prayer rug in the corner of the room, and a khimar on the floor with it. I take a chair, put on the hijab and say my prayers.

When I am done, I have a good look around the room. it's the same as the old one, just bigger. I stay in the plastic chair a bit longer. Amira is gone, probably to get food.

As I am taking off my hijab I used to pray, I realize how sore I feel. My joints are protesting against the simple movement of taking of my hijab. I begin thanking Allah for health in the past, and asking for health in the future. It's amazing to move without pain, to not feel weird or struggle in your own body.

There is a quiet knock on the door.

'Come in!' I yell. 

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I didn't post last week beacuse of Imposter syndrome, it's something I struggle with, honestly this chapter feels wrong, but one thing I know about writing, is that to get to the good parts, you most certainly have to write the bad ones. 

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