However it goes, it ends in pain.

Chapter 14 (II)

I become unconscious.

It's another dream.

I am watching myself chase Ahmad.

She says 'Wait. Ahmad. Please.'

I hear him laugh at her and run further into a maze- high trees.

I don't follow them. But I can see everything.

He finally stops. 'Thank you.' She says panting.

She's bruised, and tired. But she's thanking him.

'I- No. Ahmad!' she yells after him.

He's running again. Further away.

His laughter fills my head.

She's chasing him. As she cuts her bare feet. She's chasing him, as she loses her ability to breathe.

She's chasing him. Because as long as she chases him. She loves him. Her love is equivalent to the amount of pain she's willing to endure for him.

He stops again. She stops. This time, she must sit down. He's taken so much of her.

He sits beside her. And she forgets that he's the reason she's bleeding. She's beaming at him.

When he gets up again, he kicks dirt on her. He pushes her deeper into the ground. And he runs off.

He runs off, his laughs loud and childish. When she makes to get up and chase him. I hold her down.

I tell her he's not worth it. I tell her he's hurting her. I tell her to clean her wounds and walk the other way.

She listens. She cleans her wounds. And when she gets up to run the other way, he comes back.

'You're no longer chasing me?' Ahmad says. He sounds like a sad child. 'Chase me.' He laughs. 'Run after me, let's play!' He runs off, with all certainty that she will run after him.

She looks at me. No. She pleads with me. No. she leaves to him. She betrays me.

His laughs. They fill my head. They anger me. He's laughing. She's hurting. Her wounds re-open. She ignores them. She's bleeding. I ignore her. I told her not to go. She can no longer run. Her feet are bloody and cut. Her limbs tired. And her eyes are closing shut. I can feel her pain. so much pain. but she ignores it. And so, do I.

He comes back.

He stares at her. Her eyes are closed. She's passed out.

He turns to me.

'She's not chasing me.' He sounds bummed.

'You want someone who passed out to keep chasing you? Don't you see her bruises? Don't you see her pain!'

He stares at me.

'Why?' I ask. 'Why such cruelty?'

'Because she allows it.' He answers.

'This isn't fun anymore.'

He tilts his head at me. With one final glance at her and a blank expression, he walks off.

I don't wake her up. I carry her, through the woods, the thorns, the scorching sun, the pouring rain and lock her in a room.

.

It's three years later. Ahmad's laughter is something I hear only occasionally. Like when I see a black shirt and I remember how he used to look in those. Or when I read a novel and all I can think is how much I miss him.

His laughter is faint now.

But as I try to move on. As I make to say yes to Usman, the laugh becomes louder, a reminder of the unconscious parts of me I've locked away.

I hear his laughter, a threat that that part of me isn't dead, just not awake and she'll come out seeking what she never got to have.

Usman is in this tangled maze, and he's the one chasing me now. She doesn't want to sleep anymore, she's very alive, she wants to play, and she wants to play with Ahmad.

But there's no Ahmad.

Just his laugh.

Just his footsteps.

Just his scent in the air.

There's no Ahmad.

Just the bruises on her.

So, I convince her to play with Usman instead.

I tell her that Usman will have fun with us, he won't run too far, he won't kick us in dirt, he won't leave us when we get unconscious.

I tell her it may be hard at first to learn this new game.

But she can do it.

We can do it.

We have to.

Else we'll be stuck in this maze, chasing the laughter of a man, who doesn't want us.

She's crying. She's crying.

And then she tells me to say yes. She tells me to play with Usman, she'll take time to heal and one day she'll want to play too.

She tells me to say yes.

And I say yes to Usman.

This dream ends with Usman chasing me. And me chasing him.

Him wanting me, me wanting him.

This dream ends with me saying yes to Usman.

.

.

.

  I decided to do it! 

Anyways let me know if you enjoyed this. 

Things are about to change from the next chapter 💕