However it goes, it ends in pain.

Chapter 8

The pages of the book I am reading fall onto my fingers, I love paperback/hardback, but when I am in certain positions, they piss me off.

I sit up, in search for my bookmark, and having found it place it into the page. I push my legs onto the tiled floor and push off the bed. It's 10 am. I have four hours to get ready to go meet Ali. I searched up the place and it's kind of hard to get to.

I get into the shower, after heating the charcoal for my bukhoor. Today is the first day I am driving since I was told I could drive. Which is funny since I have been itching to go for a ride. I flinch as the hot water splatters on my skin.

I think I am somehow secretly scared of what might happen on my drive. I wouldn't say that I have any trauma from that day, but who am I to say.

Nothing traumatic happened. It was an accident. A misjudgment. A miscalculation. A mistake. Nothing traumatic happened.

Half an hour later I have wrapped up my shower. In the bedroom I add bukhoor to my burner and the cloud of smoke that engulfs me makes me smile.

Sitting down at my vanity table, I slowly unwrap my hair from its towel. The hair dryer is already plugged in, and when I turn it on, the loud sound drowns out the sound of the music on my phone.

I dry my hair to 85% dry and add leave-in-conditioner to it. And I seal in the moisture with oil.

After doing my hair, I move on to moisturizing my skin. The putting on underwear. The tedious act of getting ready makes me hot. I put on the air conditioning.

I do a very light make up. And by 12:45 I am ready.

I tidy up my little mess. Switch off everything in the room and go to the kitchen, bukhoor burner in hand.

I have a cold glass of water; I am panicking for some reason.

Are there other people there?

What should I expect?

I hate this so much.

By 1pm, I pray and head out. Long black dress, with a matching scarf and gold accessories.

I drive fine for the most part. No PTSD flashbacks or anything crazy. Just constantly telling myself to stay calm, and not overspeed.

When google maps tells me that I have arrived. I don't like how the place looks. It's an old building, the gate is only thing that looks secure, everything else is so shady.

I get down from my car, 2:06 it says, I send a text to Ali.

Almost immediately, the gates open and a security man approaches me.

'Your keys ma'am.' I stare at him confused for a moment.

'I'll take your car inside' he clarifies.

I nod sheepishly. Handing over my car keys, to a strange valet.

Another man approaches me, leading the way into the building.

It's really big. And all I can see are cars. The deeper we go inside, the louder the voices of people get.

Of course there's other people.

We finally get to the end of the long path and the turning opens to a shed filled with the most expensive cars I have ever seen in my life. There's people everywhere but I can hardly take my eyes off the cars.

When I finally manage to do so, I am flushed. I look around for a moment for Ali, then I feel his presence behind me.

'You came' he sighs.