Beauty of Annihilation (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

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Y/N

The five of us return to the warehouse, and I pull Jesper aside. "Jesper, can we talk?" He looks back at Inej and Kaz before walking into a corner of the warehouse. I take off my scarf and feel the coldness of the air.

I whisper, "I can't keep hiding these antlers like this, I need your help... please. I know you don't feel so fond of your Grisha ability, but if you can, you can use it for good and help me get rid of this damned reminder of what the Darkling did to me."

He looks back at the crew before whispering. "I am not doing it here, in front of everyone. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do." He ponders before snapping his fingers.

"Your hideout. Is it still unoccupied?" I nod and say, "I assume so." "And we're sneaking out right now." I quickly run to the door, and Jesper follows.

It wasn't very far from the warehouse. The two of us made it in, and Jesper was astonished by my old place. "This is where you used to live?" I nodded and took off the scarf again.

"What if I do it all wrong? I have a bad feeling this could blow up in our faces. Or you could blow it up." he says. "It won't, and I'll be fine. You've known your whole life that you are Durast. I trust you, Jesper."

He puts his hand on his chin and sighs. "Are you really sure?"

I nod and wait for him to go. Jesper walks over to me and puts one hand on my shoulder; the other goes next to the antlers. He takes a deep breath before his hands work. Slowly, the antlers absorb into my body, causing my powers to have an aura around my neck.

But this time, it wasn't like how the Darkling's Durast did it. I felt accepted by the Stag, and the Stag accepted me. It felt warm and gave my body the ease it was longing for. Flashes of its last memories flood my mind.

Alina embraces the Stag in the snow, she and Mal taking caution in approaching it, and then the Darkling and his army infiltrate the scene. But the last moment was Alina doing all she could to protect the Stag.

I feel the last point go into my collar, and I open my eyes to see all of it gone. Jesper notices and takes a deep breath. "Saints. Did it work?"

"Yes, I... I couldn't thank you enough." I kept to myself, and we both returned to the warehouse. Everyone was asleep, and Kaz was the only one up.

"Where were you both?" He asks.

I nod at Jesper and sit next to Kaz. "I accepted the Stag's power. The antlers are gone." I remove my scarf, and he sees it. "So the mythical creature finally showed you its forgiveness?" I chuckle. Yeah, it did. Kaz, did you ever know that I was really a myth?"

He stares at the ground before finally looking up at me. "No. And that doesn't change anything." I summon one of my auras in my hand and flick it between us. "You had called me a Saint on the ship in Os Kervo. Did you truly mean it?"

Kaz gazes at my hand, playing with my powers, and looks at the aura. "I... maybe I did." I smile at his words and make the aura go away.

If we weren't at war in the barrel, I would talk to Kaz for hours. I have a feeling there's something in Kaz that he's reaching for in me, but I can tell he's holding back.

Maybe Kaz's past holds him back, but I also reach for that light in us.

I nod off to him and find my cot to get some decent rest. In my last moment, looking at him, Kaz almost says something, and I shrug it off.

The following day, I awoke to find Kaz off doing something in regard to his plan, and the rest of the crew was up. Inej and Jesper were also off doing their own thing.