Recovering Love

Part 19

When I got home I ran to my room and I just shoved my face in my pillow, the tears I was holding in finally escapes my eyes. I was getting that feeling of hate again it's been long since I've recovered I don't want to go through that path again not now. I felt anger and discuss in myself, why am I so stupid why did I care for my dad when he sure doesn't care about me. I have such a sad life nobody knows how much I wish I was dead. I want to die I don't want to live anymore I hate my life the only reason I live is for Frankie. He thinks I'm strong but I'm not I break. I felt like cutting again but I also didn't, I was recovering. I grabbed a blade, my hang was shaking and I was crying like crazy tear after tear rolled down my cheeks. I put the blade on my wrist knowing what I had to do next. I slit my wrist and the pain felt just right. Why am I doing this, I was doing fine. I went inside the bathroom and started to cut my thighs I felt horrible for doing this but Frankie would never see them there, maybe the one on my wrist. I cried myself to sleep that night overthinking.
Next morning I didn't feel like going to school but I had too, I took a shower then put on jeans, a white tank top with a blue long sleeve crop top and pink wedge Jordan's. I put on clear mascara and Chapstick. I grabbed my backpack and left my house.
On my way I saw Hayes.
"Hayes" I called
"Oh what's up Nay" he said
(All of my friends call me Nay its short for Nayely)
"Hayes let's ditch please I don't want to go to school" I said anxiously
"What are you crazy, but what's wrong" he said
"I don't want to go please let's go we can go somewhere and talk" I said
"Fine I'm doing this for you Nay" he said
I grabbed his hand and we left running until we got to the park.
"Why is it that you didn't want to go to school" he asked
"The fact that my mood is so bad just being there might cause me to break down" I answered
"What happened" he said