Darlin' - Harry Lewis

1

"FUUUUUUCK" I scream throughout my apartment, stubbing my toe on the corner of my bed. The pain is unbearable. "As if I've not been going through enough recently" I silently mutter to myself.

Life's really testing me right now. To give you a little back story, I'm 25 years old and I've recently escaped from my violent ex-boyfriend Jamie. He was the love of my life, or so I thought. We first got together when we were 15 and in school still, everybody said we wouldn't last but we proved them all wrong. Jamie was an amazing boyfriend for the first 5-6 years, he was everything you could have wanted in a partner. He was caring, loving and just an all round nice guy. He treated me like a Princess. Until one day everything changed. I wish I could tell you what it was, but still to this day I have no idea what happened. It started off with a little bit of shouting if I hadn't done something around the house, or if I was late home from work he'd accuse me of cheating on him. Long story short the last 4 years of our relationship was absolute hell. If only I had known how bad it would have got, I would have left him years ago but I was so in love with this boy, I always thought he'd change. However, the shouting led to narcissistic behaviour, then the odd smack here and there and before I knew it he was beating the shit out of me. I was in denial, I hid all the bruises whenever I had to leave the house and go to work, I also did a little bit of influencing work on Instagram, make up was my best friend. Nobody knew how violent Jamie was with me, except my best friend Isabelle. She saw straight through my bullshit when I told her that things were fine. Isabelle & I have been best friends since we were in Nursery, she's been with me through everything and I'd trust her with my life. She offered me a place to stay when things were bad with Jamie, I just never accepted. She's been my absolute rock throughout this break up. She gave me a place to stay whilst I was searching for a new apartment for myself and my dog. Luckily, I was able to find a suitable place for us within a few weeks and it was only around the corner. I hate being a burden on anybody although I know she never minded me being there with her. At least she knew I was safe and wasn't going back to Jamie.

It's been 3 months since Jamie & I split. Things have been tough but I'm slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't miss him anymore. It's funny really, I shouldn't be missing someone who physically and emotionally damaged me but here we are. Truth me told, Jamie was the only serious boyfriend I had. We were together when we were still kids. I gave my everything to that man for a whole 10 years and all he gave me back is crippling depression and trauma.

I've lived in my own apartment for 2 months now and it's finally starting to feel like home. I literally had to start fresh, I left all my belongings when I left mine and Jamie's old apartment. I couldn't bare to bring anything with me that may remind me of him. This was my fresh start. A little insight into my apartment. I live in Central London with a gorgeous view of the River Thames from my bedroom window. The apartments not massive, it's a generous 2 bedroom, with a spacious lounge and a decent sized kitchen with a marble island in the middle. I suppose for an apartment it's a good size.

Today was a Saturday and Isabelle was popping over around Lunchtime, she liked to check up on me most days. Since leaving Jamie I suffer with severe depression and tend not to leave my house unless it's going down to the local Tesco. I quit my job when I left Jamie, which I regret doing, bur there's no going back now. I'm currently trying to focus solely on my Instagram Influencing. I had a decent following, I just needed to grow and get a few more brand deals up my sleeve but even that I was struggling with at the moment. My head's just all over the place.
Have you ever been so in love with someone to have them treat you like literal shit? Bollocks isn't it.

I hear a knock at my door, knowing it must be Isabelle I head over to the front door, opening it slowly. Isabelle always had a radiant smile on her face, I envied her sometimes. How can one person be so happy all of the time? I'm lucky to feel genuinely happy for 5 minutes. "Lolaaaaaa" she shouts and wraps me in a tight embrace as she hops through the front door. "Fuck me Izzy, my heads pounding girl" I hug her back. She looked at me squinting her eyes slightly "you know, if you actually left this apartment and saw some sun, you'd feel much better. What have you done today? Let me guess, you've sat in bed all morning until about 5 minutes ago?" She wasn't wrong and my silence said enough. "Lola, you need to get out babes, there's a big old world out there that you need to explore. Holidays, Men..." I cut her off as soon as she mentioned men. "Men? You're joking me right. The last thing I need in my life is another man" we sat down on the sofa, I pulled a throw out from under the basket next to my sofa and draped it over us. The sun may have been shining but it was still freezing. "Loz, you don't have to get in another relationship, but wouldn't it be nice to just enjoy a man's company? Have a little fun?" I rolled my eyes at her statement. I don't even know what's fun anymore. I haven't had any "fun" in a long time. "Honestly, no. I don't think nows the time for that, the whole idea of meeting another man just sends my head into overdrive" I've come to the conclusion that all men are the same. They all want one thing, sex and if you're not willing to give it to them, you're in trouble. "They're not all the same Lo, one day you'll meet someone and everything will fall into place, I promise you" it's as if she could read my mind.

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A/N - thank you so much for taking the time to read my book. Let me know what you think so far in the comments. I also just want to say, this is my first book and there may be a few mistakes throughout but I promise I'm trying, I want to get a few chapters up and running and then I'll go back and check for any grammar mistakes etc.
Harry makes an appearance in the next chapter, you don't want to miss that 🥳

L x