𝙵𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚞𝚢𝚊.
Around 28 days has passed since Chuuya and Dazai break up. Chuuya thinking he was ready to reread his and Dazai old messeages starts to read them.
As Chuuya read through each message a emotion of happiness, sorrow, guilt, and more washed over him, he loved the taller male so much even if the man murdered him he probably wouldn't have cared.
Chuuya read over the messages begging for some of his time, then the messages begging for him to confirm he loves him still, it hurt so much and it hurt knowing he still loved the man so much.
He got to a part where they were talking happily, he could remember the pure happiness he felt during those moments, knowing everything was okay, that made the male feel better for a while.
A laugh escaped him as he read over Dazai stupid messages, he still found them cute and funny even after everything that had happened.. God if he could go back in time and help that fight not happen he would even if he knew it was for the best.
(This part doesn't line up with Dazai too much but this is based off a relationship I got out of, also same thing with Chuuya)
Eventually Chuuya scrolled to some messages about Dazai family a slight shiver going down his spine reading the part how when they meet up there's a chance Chuuya won't survive due to his family not liking him even if they haven't met him yet.
He knew dating Dazai had it's risks due to some issues with himself and his family, yet he truly believed everything would be ok, even if Dazai had cheated, told him he had no issue hurting him and more.
He eventually scrolled to the part where Dazai had told him if he woke him up early, touched him, or anything he would hurt him, that message sending a pain through his chest.
After that it went back to Dazai ignoring Chuuya, Chuuya begging for his time then giving up for some weeks then typing out a 'hi' then him getting a 'hi' back him getting excited then ignored once again.
He knew reading these messages of him letting go of all shame to 𝙱𝚎𝚐 for his time he shouldn't want him back, but how could he not? He had spent so much time with him.
They had plans for the future, plans to meet up, plans to live together, plans to have pets together, hell Chuuya had hoped they would get married.
Chuuya knew he started the fight, so yes the break up was partly on him but in the moment he was so tired and done he had to get his point over he had tried talking to him about how he felt for over two years, he was tired.
Chuuya set down the phone rubbing his face, tears running down his face, why did he miss the man who hurt him so much? Why didn't he hate him, he knows a bit about him since some people he can't exactly stop being friends with keep him informed on everything, he definitely should hate him since apparently he bad talks him? Like he has a reason too, he dropped everything he was doing the moment he got a text or if he was lucky a call from him.
Tears running down his face looking at his phone, why did he do this to him? Was he not good enough? He knew he was a lot to handle but so was Dazai, again another memory in that moment popped up the time Dazai had admitted to Chuuya being replaceable, another pain went through his heart, he knew he was useless, annoying, and stuff but being replaceable hurt more than anything.
In a attempt to get some feelings out Chuuya chose to write about what was happening, which in the end just hurt more as he remembered more and more of the happy and sad moments tears pouring down his face, truly pitiful and disgusting, how could love hurt so much?
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎
