Since Diapers

Chap 5 (A Rhythm)

CJ's POV

I let go of Jay and wiped my tears. "The reason why I risked my life and our baby's was because of the guy I tackled," I nodded. "He was about to shoot Violet. Once we hit the ground, he lost a hold of the gun and it went into the sewer." He looked at me. "I had to save her. She's my co-worker and my friend. Now, if I wasn't pregnant, I would've done the same thing."

"Here she is," Natalie stated as she walked in pushing a baby in an incubator. "We have to keep her in here to help her grow, but TK is stabled."

"Thanks, Nat," I replied.

"I'll give you some time," Natalie replied.

"Thank you," Jay stated. Natalie left the room as CJ sat up a bit. "Do you need help?"

"I'm okay," I nodded. I stuck my hand through one of the holes. TK wrapped her little hand around one of my fingers. "Hi, Taylor. I'm your mom."

"And I'm Dad," Jay stated.

"I was lost. You found a way to bring me back. I needed a purpose. You gave me that," I sang. "Yeah, I'm so thankful for your love, 'cause it's unconditional. Yeah, it's crazy how you saved me." TK put her hand in my hand and I rubbed her little hand with my thumb. "Hand on the Bible, don't know how I got you, but I couldn't ask for more. Yeah, what I got's worth thanking God for. So, thank God, you made me a mom and changed my life. Thank God, your hand fits perfectly in mine." Jay gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Thank God, you changed my world and didn't have a clue. But you did, you do, He knew. Thank God for giving me you."

"That was beautiful, baby," Jay smiled.

"Thank you," I smiled. I removed my hand and the monitor started flatlining. "No."

"Hey, we need a doctor!" Jay exclaimed.

"What happened?" Natalie walked in.

"She just coded," I nodded. "We didn't do anything. Please, save her." Natalie was working on TK. "Please." Jay hugged me and I was crying. "Please."

"We're calling it," Natalie stated.

"No," I cried. I lost it. "No."

"I'm so sorry," Natalie replied. I held on to Jay as they took TK away. "We are going to have to ask the hard questions."

"Cremated," Jay stated. Natalie was a little shocked. "We talked about every scenario and if this were to happen, we would want our child cremated."

"Okay," Natalie nodded. "I'll let the charge nurse know."

"Thank you," Jay replied. A month had went by. Jay was just getting up and ready for work. "Don't you have a shift today?"

"I have one more month of furlough left," I nodded. "I know I never asked you this, but where did you get the name TK from?"

"I noticed it in one of your scrapbooks," Jay stated. "It was next to a baby picture. I assumed that it was a baby name you wanted."

"It was," I replied. "Uhm, Jay?" He looked at me. "I bought a plane ticket to Austin, Texas for this afternoon."

"Why?"

"I need to get out on my own for a little bit. I have to find my rhythm. Ever since we lost her, I have been missing something," I replied. "Just let me do this, okay? I will be fine on my own." I gave Jay a kiss. " I need to work on myself first. When I get back, we can work on us." Jay nodded and left for work. I packed up and went to Austin, Texas. Once I got my rental car, I drove to Firehouse 126. I looked at the notes on my phone. "This seems to be the correct place." I got out and walked inside. A guy saw me and walked up to me. "Hi."