I don't like to talk about broken things in my life.
My sister, on the other hand, has no problem. It's hard to get her to start sharing what she feels, but once she does it all comes out. Sometimes my sister talks to me, or her friends, or our mom.
But I can't. I can't even start to say what I feel, I'm too hidden, secretive...
And I don't know why...
I have great people in my life who always want to try to fix things for me, or point out the broken things in my life that aren't healthy, but they're too blind to see...
They're too blind to see that behind their texts where they point those things out to me, I have tears. And more tears when they say it's unhealthy.
I know it's unhealthy, do you think I want it this way?
They say they understand, but how can they when they are blind to what I'm feeling inside and don't experience what I do?
It just makes me a little angry, which makes me want to cry more because I don't know.
I don't know why I want to cry more.
Why is life so broken?
I think the reason I don't share what I'm thinking is because I feel self conscious about the way my life unfortunately turned out. I pretend I'm not sad about it so that they never find out.
But when they ask questions I get embarrassed about my unlucky answer.
It's truly humiliating.
I guess that's just the way it is.
{b.b.}
