A Love Lost

Ana

The force was painful, but gentle at the same time. I liked the idea that this was his way of claiming me. Each time his gentle and skilled fingers entered me, I felt a liquid gold heat fill the deepest part of my core. It was a strange sensation. Its intensity and fire was unlike anything I'd felt before. Would it always feel like this? With every guy? I doubted it. There was no way that anything could ever feel the way things felt with Gabriel.

It wasn't long after we started that I felt a release. The tension in my core no longer was there. He slowly removed his fingers from my core and brought them to his mouth. He sucked on his fingers, wet with what I could only assume was the product of my first orgasm. He eyed me the entire time.

After removing his fingers from their captivity, Gabriel kissed me in the most passionate way I could imagine. It was as if he was claiming me all over again.

"You taste amazing." he smirked.

I had never done any of this, properly. Had any sort of consensual sex. Even dirty talk. I was a relationship virgin.

We made ourselves presentable as my mother called, "Dinner!"

We walked downstairs, smiling.

Dinner was wonderful. My last before my trip. It made me sad but also happy as this trip would allow me to focus on another guy. Sebastian was perfect. We had many things in common. I liked him. I could even potentially love him, but there was one big hang-up we would have to face. He knew me from the past. Would he understand that I am different now?

"So, honey, are you ready for your trip to Menorca with Sebastian?" my mother asked halfway through dinner.

"Yes. It will be nice to get to know him more." Short and sweet.

"So, brother. How was the fashion show?" Francisco teased Gabriel.

"It was an experience." He wasn't lying. For one hundred and twenty minutes, I tortured him by walking in and out of my closet in short dresses, thin bikinis, and short denim shorts. It was an experience to feel him in me. The way he was so rough with me without hurting me. Nothing else could describe it without giving away what happened in my room.

"Did she look hot?" Tómas chimed in.

"Tómas!" my stepfather scolded.

"What. It's just a question." Tomas tried to defend himself.

I quickly grew uncomfortable with my stepbrothers asking whether or not I looked hot. "Can we PLEASE change the topic?"

I was thankful when my stepfather asked Nicholas how his surfing lessons were going.

That night, after dinner, I went straight to my room. I ignored everyone. They would see me the next morning. I changed for bed and read Tess of The D'Urbervilles. My favorite. Even though it is a book about damaged relationships and damned fates, it reminded me of reality. Life isn't filled with happy endings. Not every relationship ends in a 'happily ever after.' It is hard and people aren't perfect. I learned that at a very young age.

Halfway through, I closed my book, turned on my Romeo and Juliet audiobook, and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I felt like a different person. I had no nightmares last night. The first time in a while. I was ready for this next step in Sebastian and I's relationship. I scrambled to finish packing my books and camera. I left Tess behind. However, I packed The Culpable Trilogy by Mercedes Ron, On the Road by Jack Kerouac, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and Through My Window by Ariana Godoy. We would be on a boat and in a small beach villa for two months. There was bound to be some alone time.

It was a short breakfast as I was supposed to meet Sebastian at the docks in downtown Marbella at half past ten. Everyone came to see us off. Everyone except Gabriel. I knew it would be hard for him to see me go off with Sebastian. Not only by the way his face twisted when I mentioned our short time span before we left, but because if the roles were reversed I would too.

"Goodbye, Ana." my mother hugged me. "I'll miss you."

"Mom. I'm only going to be away for a couple of months." I reassured her that it would go by fast.

Each of my stepbrothers hugged me and then made jokes about me to Sebastian.

"Hey, dude. Keep her out of the sun. She burns easily." Francisco and Tomas said, making fun of how pale I was.

Nicholas was nice. I guess.

"If you toss her overboard or return her in any less of the perfect condition she is now, Gabriel or I will be the ones you deal with."

He came to me. "Goodbye, little sister. I'll be waiting for you." His whispers made me a bit nervous.