A Love Lost

Ana

I knew that every word, every syllable, that came out of Gabriel's mouth was the truth. I believed that he would never lie to me. He would never trick me. "I do not want anything if I cannot share it with you. But, if it is truly what you want, I will leave. You will never have to see me again." he said to me. He would give me the world if I asked him. He would do anything for me. He would go to any lengths. All because he loved me.

I didn't know what to say. Because of this, I watched him leave.

"Goodbye Anastasia. I will love you forever." he said, his beautiful brown eyes looking down at me. They conveyed emotions that were too great for words.

I watched the person I loved more than anything in the entire world leave. I made him leave because I couldn't bear to risk the future. I had no idea if he was going to come back. Still, I believed what I repeatedly told myself. It is better to get out now. Before either of you dies. It wasn't literal death. It might as well have been. It might as well have been death by gunshot to the head because that would hurt less than this.

A month went by. No text, call, letter, email, or sighting of Gabriel. It was clear I would never see him again. It was the first day of school at Saint Rose's, the most expensive international school in the area. Earlier in the month I had an interview with the headmistress.

As I changed into my uniform, I heard a knock at the door. I was already running late thanks to Nicholas and Francisco for eating the last of the cereal and not saying a word.

"I'm coming. Mom, I will be down as soon as I can get this zipper to fasten." It wouldn't move. I was becoming extremely annoyed.

Whoever it was didn't answer. Instead, they just made their way in. I turned around. To my surprise, there, standing in a gray muscle shirt and warm orange running shorts was Gabriel.

"I don't have time for this. I am late and it is my first day." I shook my head. "Either you save it until I get back or somehow you convince my mother to let you drive me to school." I gave him a pointed look.

He had the audacity to ignore and avoid me for five weeks and come walking into my room like nothing was wrong. I thought he had manners. I guess I was wrong.

He calmly explained how he had already spoken to my mother and she was more than happy to have him drive me.

My mother was a traitor of another breed. I couldn't believe it.

I continued to struggle with the zipper of my skirt, pulling with all my might.

"That zipper will break if you keep yanking it. Gentle." he said with a slight laugh in his voice.

I took a deep breath and gently pulled on the zipper. It fastened. It worked.

"Now. Are you going to abuse any more clothes, or are we going to get you to our first day of school?"

Dammit.

I forgot that I would have to see him every day. It was the universe shitting on me once more.

"Let's go." I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and walked past him out of the room.

We had forty minutes to get there and it was a thirty-minute drive without traffic. Lucky for me, he was a good driver and drove ten over the speed limit.

"We're here," he announced, as we drove through large gates and down a driveway lined with tall trees.

Gabriel slid into one of the first spots in the student parking lot. All of the others were filled. It made me curious why no one had taken this one. It was the closest to the front.

"Are you some kind of royalty here?" I asked, jokingly.

"You could say that." he was entirely serious.

"Oh." It was all I could say.

"And you, Anastasia," he said my name in a whisper that had the blood rushing through my veins and every hair on my body, if I hadn't shaved, stand. "You are a mystery to everyone here. You are shark bait. Don't worry, I am going to protect you."

He said those last words not like a statement, but as an oath. Like it was his personal duty.

He got out of the car and came to my side, opened the door, and offered me his hand. I took it, out of courtesy. As I stepped out of the car, he took my bag that I had placed on the floor and handed it to me. I slung the strap over my shoulder as he wrapped his arm around the small of my back.

"What are you doing?" I squirmed lightly.

"You may not want to be with me, but you are still mine. And here, whatever is mine is respected. You deserve that, at the very least. I will keep fighting for you. For us. Until my very last breath." It made my heart break. I folded. I couldn't do it anymore. I spent an entire month trying to convince myself that I could live without him. That we could live without each other. I was kidding myself. With each second we were apart, we were killing each other.

We entered into the main entrance area. It was elegant. White everywhere, windows in the ceiling, and a grand stairway leading to a second floor.

"Gabriel. I want to talk to you before we head to our first block." I prompted.

"Yes?" he turned to look at me. We stopped moving. It felt like time stopped. Every time he looked at me, time stopped.

"I don't want...want to be...be apart." Those words were the hardest to say. The rest came fairly naturally. "I can't keep dying. I want to live. And the only way I can do that is to be with you. What I said on the beach was me being scared. Scared that someday, maybe, in the future you will see what everyone else in my life has seen. That I am not the perfect girl I appear to be. I am broken into several pieces. I am not sure if I can be fixed. And I don't want you to be with me because of the girl I make myself out to be. I don't want that biting you in the ass later. What I know, without a doubt, is that I want you. Forever and for always. As you said, I am yours. I always have been and I always will be." I ended my monologue.

He wasn't silent for three seconds.

"If I could, I would kiss you, but I can't. Now, let's go begin the year with Bronte. We have literature first period." He took my hand and we walked to our first class.

It was such a coincidence that we had all of our classes together. I wasn't complaining or anything. It was just very odd.