A Love Lost

Gabriel

In the middle of the night, I was forced awake by the most distressing sound I had ever heard. I shot up and looked around. There, laying in a distressful sleep, was Ana. Her head thrashed in time with her arms.

"No.No!.NO!" she yelled, unconsciously, repeatedly.

I shook her shoulders, attempting to wake her up. "Ana..Ana!...Wake up!"

Nothing. She continued to thrash.

I tried again, this time shaking her more violently. To my relief it worked. However, instead of circling her arms around me, she rolled the other way. Then off the bed with a large thud!

"Ana!" I rushed off the bed and kneel beside her.

Looking into her eyes, I saw a violent, wide-eyed fear. I'd seen her afraid before, but nothing like this.

"Get away from me!" she shoved my arms.

"Ana, I'm worried about you. You were having a nightmare and when you woke up, you didn't want me to comfort you, and you fell off our bed." She was scared of me. Why?

"You don't actually care about me. You're just like him, you just want to have me. You don't care what you do to me!" Her voice became broken as tears fell from her eyes.

"Ana, I can't express to you how much I care about you, how much I love you. Yes, I want you, but I don't want to possess you. I want you to want me. I want you to need me like I need you." When would she get it through her head? I loved this beautiful girl with every bone in my body. Step-relatives or not. I didn't give two shits.

She looked confused. "But..but..last night, I needed you and you...you ignored me. You didn't care. You know what my father did and that it still kills me every day. You knew that seeing him was the last thing I wanted. You had to. You had to know that I don't want to see him ever again. You had to know... No! You knew and you didn't do anything. Why!!"

She was talking about the fact that we didn't have sex before we went to bed. We had a habit where whenever anything overly unpleasant or stressful for either one or both of us occurred, we would relieve the stress though sex. It was never rough. Instead, we made sweet and gentle love.

"Ana, the reason I didn't make love to you last night was because I know what he did and what that memory does to you. I didn't want to have sex with you while that scum was in your mind." I leaned closer to whisper in her ear. "When I fuck you, I want to be the only man you're thinking of." I returned to my distanced position so as not to push her.

"I need some time." Her voice was soft as she rose from the floor.

I followed her.

"No, Ana. Don't give up on us. Stay, please." I begged.

If she left, she would be giving into her father, giving him power, and be believing that I couldn't help her.

"It's not goodbye Gabriel. Just, I need time." she kissed my cheek. "I'll still see you everyday. You just need to give me time."

Before closing the door behind her, she turned toward me. " I love you."

Then I was surrounded by darkness, alone, with no hope of a future with the one person who could give me everything I ever wanted.