A Love Lost

Ana

The house was magnificent. It was lavish and modern. The white exterior brilliantly contrasted against the dark accents and roof. There were numerous window. It was perfect. It was semi-familar. I knew it was our place.

Gabriel came around and scooped me up into his arms, closed the door with his foot, and carried me up the front stairs into the house.

"Welcome home." he smiled, carrying me into the foyer.

"This is a house. You are my home." I didn't know much, but that I knew for a fact

He carried me up the stairs into a large bedroom with a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows with views of the sea and the balcony. It was massive. He sat me down on the large bed. The duvet was soft, warm, and smelled of his amber scent. I took a deep breath, taking in the familiar smell.

He came and sat next to me. "What do you want to do? We have to keep it limited so as not to stress your body. However, there are plenty of things we can do that are relaxing, without leaving the property." He smiled. He was so kind, gentle, and thoughtful.

I knew it must have been killing him. For me only to remember who he was but nothing about our relationship. I looked out the window towards the sea.

"Does this place have a pool?" I couldn't remember.

"Yes. Do you want to go for a swim?" he asked me, his smiling grew.

I nodded. "But can I take a shower first. I smell of a hospital." It was gross.

"Of course. Do you want me to help you or can you do it yourself?" I knew he was trying.

"I can do it." I smiled.

"Okay. If you need me, I'll be on the balcony." It was his way of giving me space while still being around.

Before walking out to the balcony, he pulled me in and gave me the warmest hug. I knew I needed a shower, but I was also perfectly content staying there in his arms. I was disappointed when he pulled away. "Enjoy your shower." he kissed my hair and walked onto the balcony.

The shower was powerful, yet not painful. The warmth of the water felt like heaven. My muscles were tight from laying still in the hospital bed. I took my time, making sure that every ounce of hospital smell disapeared. The only thing that would have made it better was if he had been with me.

Being alone with my confused mind, caused me to panic. I couldn't remember who my mother was. Mary told me she was my mother and the stories she told me illuminated that that was our connection. I just couldn't remember her like that. Then there was Gabriel. I knew he was my boyfriend. There was no other explanation for the warmth and burning emotion that conquered my entire body when I saw him. It hurt to know that that was all I remembered. It hurt me to know that I was hurting him. We had a past and I couldn't remember a single detail.

The overwhelming confusion and pain brought tears to my eyes. I dropped to my knees and curled up in a ball beneath the water, tucking my head in my knees. I was causing people so much pain. People that were important to who I was. I was causing the love of my life pain.

I didn't know how long I was there, crying, before Gabriel found me.

"Ana?" I heard his footsteps draw closer. "Is everything okay?"

I shook my head and tried to stop myself from crying. I didn't want to inflict more pain on him.

"Ana. Please." he pleaded with me.

I looked up. His beautiful, dark brown, eyes were filled with concern.

"I'm sorry." I cried, overwhelmed.