delicate ~ L.W

Chapter 18: Tender Exchanges

On the drive to my house, Leah repeatedly glances over at me while she drives. I sigh softly, "pull over," I glance over at her, "you and I both know we need to talk."

She nods in response and pulls over on the side of the road, the view of One Tree Hill still clear. She turns off the ignition but doesn't look over at me. I reach over and place my hand on her thigh, comfortingly. She releases a relieved sigh and speaks softly, still not looking over at me, "I know you don't wanna talk about it and I'm not gonna make you. I just... I wanna make sure you're okay?," she starts to waffle, stressed, "I mean, I know you keep saying you are, but I don't think you are. I know I'm not Ffion, or Sophie, or Katie, or Jill, or... Jen," she gulps softly, "but I'm here. You can talk to me. I want you to talk to me."

I gulp softly, tears coming to my eyes and I sigh and look up, blinking them away. Leah turns to me and gently reaches up, placing a hand on my cheek. She whispers softly, desperation clear in her voice, "talk to me, Ellie."

"You're right," I gaze down into her eyes, "I'm not. But... I just can't... I can't talk about it. I don't know how." I whisper softly.

"Wanna play a deep version of 20 questions like we did the day after you signed your contract?" She asks softly.

I laugh softly, "sure. You first."

"Why did you have a panic attack this morning?"

"Diving right into the deep stuff huh?," I laugh nervously, "I uh... I had a... nightmare." I mutter quietly, "how did it affect you? All the media attention you gained after the Euros?" I inquire, gazing down into her eyes.

She gulps softly and bites her lip, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. She speaks quietly, "I've always been a private person, so.. It was... It was difficult, like really fucking difficult. People somehow digging up videos of me that hadn't been put online, nothing bad, it was just... a lot. People wanting to know everything about my private life, it was relentless. Still is," she lets out a shaky breath, "Do you get them a lot? The panic attacks?"

I sigh softly and lightly squeeze her thigh, grounding myself, "not that often, just when... something triggers them. Usually, I only wake up with them, sometimes they happen when the slightest thing triggers it. Something I see, something I hear. I don't know," I shake my head slightly, Leah's hand falling from my cheek and she places her hand on top of mine on her thigh, "it doesn't matter."

She squeezes my hand three times, "it matters to me." She whispers.

I gaze down at her, silence filling the car, a slight tension in the air. She leans forward over the console and slowly rests her head on my shoulder, placing a gentle kiss to the crook of my neck. I sigh softly and relax under her touch. I whisper softly, "I really care about you, y'know."

"I know. I care about you too." She whispers softly, pressing a final gentle kiss to the crook of my neck before moving away, turning the ignition on in her car.

"Can we go back to that cafe? The one we went to the day after I signed my contract?" I ask softly.

Leah smiles softly, nodding, "sure. What was it called again?"

"Clover's Cafe."

She nods and types it into google maps, turning the ignition on, and pulling out onto the road once again, following the instructions to the cafe.

__________________________

We walk into the old cafe, sitting down at the same table we did weeks earlier. The same old woman walking over to our table, this time with a slight limp. She gets to our table and smiles down at the both of us warming, "welcome back girls."

"Are you okay, Clover? Your hip giving you trouble again?" I ask, concerned.

She laughs softly and places her hand on my shoulder and tapping it a few times before squeezing it softly before letting go, just like she did before. She speaks softly, "a bit, but don't worry, dear. It's just difficult running this place by meself with no help."

I look up at her concerned, "let me help you out then." I suggest softly.

She waves it off, "no, no, dear. I'll be just fine. Besides, you're a busy girl," she laughs softly, "you don't have to help a little old lady run a cafe in your spare time. Hell, I wouldn't even be able to pay you. Don't worry, dear." She speaks softly, her warm smile never leaving her lips.

I grab a napkin from the table and a pen from my pocket, writing my number down on my napkin, then passing it to her, "call me if you need help, okay? I don't need any money. You shouldn't be on your feet all day Clover, I mean it." I speak in a slightly serious tone.

She takes the napkin off me, placing it in her pocket, "thank you, dear."

I smile softly, "no need to thank me."

"What can I get for you girls this time? The same?" She asks warmly.

I nod, "the same for me, Le?" I turn to face Leah, noticing her gazing over at me with affection clear in her blue eyes.

She snaps out of her trance and smiles over at Closer softly, "yes, please."

Clover smiles at the two of us and speaks softly, "black americano with a cinnamon bun and a hot chocolate with a chocolate croissant coming right up."

She walks off, a slight limp in her step.

I gaze over at Leah, a smile growing on my face as I laugh softly as she gazes over at me affectionately. I speak softly, "what?"

She laughs softly and shakes her head, "nothing, you just... that was really nice of you, you're amazing."

I blush softly, "I just don't want her getting hurt."

"Dimples, you've only met her once!" She laughs softly.

I groan out, "I know, but... she just... she's nice."

Leah raises her eyebrows, "yeah, she is. But, not everyone would volunteer to help out at a cafe, doing a job they're not being paid for."

I shrug, "she needs help, I have time. What's so wrong with that?"

Leah bites her lip as her smile grows, "nothing, it's just... admirable."

I laugh softly, "seriously, Le. Stop looking at me like that."

She laughs softly and raises her hands up in a surrendering motion, "like what?"

I groan in response and shake my head with a wide smile, feeling warmth fill my body. A soft silence surrounds us as we keep a watchful eye outside, continuously glancing over at each other but never making eye contact. I place my hand on the table, my palm facing upwards with a silent invitation. She takes it and places her hand in mine.

AN: Look at me putting out two updates in a row after having writer's block for like a month haha. I hope you guys are enjoying the book so far. Let me know if there's anything you guys wanna see or any theories you have in the comments! x