Diary of a High School Has Been (18+)

Entry 14: Preston's Ex !? Now I'm Jealous

After our falling out and reconciliation, things between me and Preston have been sailing pretty smoothly. He's still underwhelming in the communication department but he seems more secure in things. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop feeling like I had to walk on eggshells around him. I avoided bringing up my ex and he never asked about Drake either. I couldn't stop wondering why it was so easy for Preston to ghost me the way he did. I adapted to trusting his actions before his lack of words and the action of ignoring me for three days was telling. Maybe I don't mean as much to him as I thought I did.

At lunch, I stared out the window at Preston. He was sitting under a tree in the quad with his music theory book and a pen. He was writing something down, probably another song. I kept wondering what he was thinking before my thoughts were interrupted by Alyssa.

"Why don't you ever sit with Preston?" She asked.

I shrugged as I continued to stare after him.

"He's never asked me to," I sighed.

It was true. Even until this day, we've never sat together for lunch. I don't know why. Every other couple sits together except us. I sit with the cheerleaders and he sits alone. He doesn't even so much as look in my direction.

"My brother's not gonna ask you to sit with him. He probably wants you to just do it."

"Why is he like that," I asked.

"Like what?"

"So...expressionless."

Alyssa shrugged nonchalantly.

"He's never been one for words unless he's writing them down. I think he just got worse after Miranda."

My head nearly snapped off my neck with how quickly I cocked it to the side. Who the hell was Miranda?

"Excuse me, Miranda?" I asked while blinking in disbelief.

"Yeah, Preston's ex-girlfriend. They broke up in this past summer. Like the end of May or early June. He wouldn't say so but I could tell he was heartbroken. Have you ever listened to any of his songs? They're all depressing or angry and they're all about her."

Again, who the fuck was Miranda? Who was the girl that broke Preston's heart? My Preston!

"How long did they date? How old is she? What does she look like?"

I couldn't help it. The questions were spilling out of me so fast. I could tell the panicked expression in my face was concerning Alyssa. She was about to open her mouth when the lunch bell rang. She was obviously grateful that lunch was over cause she beat it out of the cafeteria before I could interrogate her anymore.

So for the next couple of hours, I was absolutely tortured by the thought of this Miranda girl. Her existence was driving me crazy. Preston never mentioned any ex girlfriends. Especially not any that would've hurt him and had him writing break up songs. I knew this girl had to be older than me, at least. Possibly even older than Preston. That's what worried me the most. If the last relationship he was in was with a girl more...experienced.

Even at cheerleading practice, as I was getting thrown into the air repeatedly, I couldn't shake the horrible feeling I felt in my stomach. Preston was napping on the bleachers so he didn't notice the way I was staring him down. I was so distracted, I couldn't concentrate on my cheerleading.

When practice ended, he took me home as usual. He was quiet like he always was but so was I. He could tell there was something off with me because usually I'd try to have a million conversations with him the entire way.

"Are you good?" He asked.

I stared down at my hands, folded in my lap and nodded. I was less than convincing.