Diary of a High School Has Been (18+)

Entry 21: I think I'm going to do IT

I'm going to have sex with Preston.

It's been officially decided. After weeks of deliberation and weighing my options, I've come to the conclusion that I'm ready.

I made a pros and cons list just to be sure:

Pros

• He's my boyfriend
• He's sweet & discreet
• We both love each other
• I actually want Preston to be my first
• I want to do it
• He wants to do it
• It could strengthen our relationship

Cons
• It's going to hurt
• I'm going to be bad at it

The list was leaning in favor of what I wanted most. But what really sealed the deal is what Preston did tonight.

After a long afternoon at the auto garage, he took me home in the evening around 7. I knew mom was going to be pissed about me missing dinner but I didn't care. That's why I ignored the gazillion text messages she sent me.

All I wanted to do was be with Preston. I loved watching him work on cars, practice with the band and I loved every bit of attention he gave me in his spare moments.

He display such a sweet disposition tonight as opposed to his usual impassive personality. It was like he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. And any time he got the chance, his hands were all over me as well. Of course this was the only time I actually wanted Miranda to be there. That way she could witness more of his affection for me and finally get a clue.

On the drive to my house, Preston was playing music and humming softly along. He had the heat blasting with his window down which I didn't understand. He wasn't smoking or anything. The heat off the engine mixed with the cold winter air blowing all around me was giving me goosebumps.

I was relieved when we got to my house and Preston rolled his window up. Although, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be back home. I just knew Mom was waiting for me inside.

"Thanks for the ride," I said as I leaned in for a hug.

Preston pulled away from me, looking a bit suspicious. It was like he was nervous or something was bothering him.

"Hold on a second," he said as he turned in his seat.

Preston was digging in the back of the car, just behind the center console. He pulled out a small white shopping bag and placed it in my hand.

"This is for you."

I opened the bag and inside was a little box. A jewelry box. Preston had bought me a keychain.

"What's this?" I gasped, taking it out of the packaging.

"I don't know, I just thought you would like it," he shrugged.

There were five charms on the keychain. Two letter 'P' charms, that obviously stood for our names, were on either side of the clasp. There was a cheerleading megaphone charm and a charm of two small pompoms.

"What's this one for?" I asked holding up the final charm.

The centerpiece of the bracelet was a tiny tiara.

"What? You don't like it?" Preston asked obliviously.

"No, of course I like it! I love it. But why the little crown."