Diary of a High School Has Been (18+)

Entry 33: I can't tell if we're back together

After we talked, I wrote in my diary and then proceeded to take a long, hot shower, trying to organize my thoughts.

I still couldn't believe that Preston thought I was cheating on him when I was taking all that time away from him to study. I tried to be understanding of the fact that he had trust issues after Miranda totally betrayed him but I was still mad that he met up with her.

I don't know if I believe him that nothing happened. In order for me to move forward and forgive him, I would just have to trust what he said and I wasn't even sure if I could do that anymore.

All I want is to go back in time to when I answered his phone and found out about it. I want to stop myself from picking it up and go on living in ignorant bliss.

Oblivious and happy.

When I got out of the shower, I wrapped my hair in a towel and dug through my bags looking for a nice pair of pajamas. I didn't even bother looking in the suitcase mom packed for me because it's probably filled with all of my juvenile, family-friendly pj's. I grabbed my cheerleading duffle and pulled out the more racy stuff.

I settled on a matching pair of pink satin shorts and a tank top. Then, I blow dried my hair and braided it back into two pigtails. I wanted to look really good before I walked back out into the common room and had to face Preston again. I even sprayed myself with the perfume I knew he liked.

When I walked out of the room, everyone was gathered neared the fireplace, chattering and arguing over what we were all going to do tonight.

"What's going on?" I asked as I approached.

"The guys don't want to share the PlayStation with us so Leah unplugged it and hid it from them," Alyssa laughed.

"Yeah, just as I was about to end Levi in 2k!" Elijah complained.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Preston asked.

I looked at him the second he spoke. He wasn't talking to me but his eyes scanned over me slowly.

"We could play a board game?" Alyssa suggested.

"We don't have any for seven players," Dylan grumbled with his chin in his hands.

I walked over to everyone and was quickly put in the awkward situation of figuring out where to sit. Was I supposed to sit down next to Preston on the couch?

Leah was snuggled up next to Levi on the other side, Alyssa and Dylan were sitting on the arm chairs and Elijah was sitting on the floor between the coffee table and the fireplace.

I decided to take a seat in the space next to Elijah and I could feel Preston's eyes on me as I avoided looking at him.

"We could play with teams," I suggested.

"Yeah," Elijah agreed. "That's a good idea!"

Everyone else seemed up for it until Elijah spoke up again.

"Wanna be on my team?" He asked me.

Preston shot his friend a dirty look and stood up from the couch.

"I have a better idea," he said.

We all watched as he walked over to the kitchen and opened a drawer. He pulled out a pack of playing cards and came back over, shuffling the deck in his hands.