Down the road of memories

Every breath you take

Elle POV

I was a little vague about that famous phone call from Noah at Thanksgiving. I hadn't talked about it with anyone except Chloe and even with her I had only told her that Noah had called me but nothing more. Lee had asked me the next day why my attitude had changed so much, why I was at peace when the day before I was in tears. But I never told him what had happened.

Flashback LA, Thanksgiving 4 Months After Breakup

Overall, I'm going to relatively well. I started my pre-med studies at USC and I really love what I do. I officially declined my position in video game design and signed up for an internship in Africa this summer. I made many friends including Hannah, Alyssa, Skyler and Brandon. We're together pretty much all the time. I hardly have any free time and that suits me a bit, preventing me from thinking too much.

But on Wednesday evening, as I finished my classes and seeing all my friends leave for Thanksgiving, I started to get stressed. Normally, we celebrate Thanksgiving with the Flynns and this is the first year I don't want to go. I haven't heard directly from Noah since our goodbyes at the beach house and this will only be the second time I'm going to see him since the breakup. I feel like I don't know how to behave with him anymore. That after being so close for almost 2 years we are as far apart as we ever been.

Yesterday I had a crying fit after seeing a comment on social media by Jon Fletcher, a former player on the football team from County Day High who tagged Noah and Tuppen as well as all the former members of the team asking who was going to date the hottest cheerleaders this year? Not surprisingly, all of my former classmates voted for ... Flynn!

And that's when I realized my discomfort of the last few days. Despite the fact that I don't cry every night about our breakup and that I've regained control of my life, I'm still scared to learn that Noah has replaced me by a blonde cheerleaders for whom her love is enough. Well worth it! Because deep down, I felt abandoned by the person I trusted the most.

The next evening, I was sitting alone in the garden of my father's house, studying. Everyone was gone for Thanksgiving night and I promised to join them later. But the more time went on, the less I wanted to go. Lee tried to call me and so did my dad, but I took the easy way out and refused their call. I didn't want to be brave, I didn't feel like I could do it! I just kept studying, telling myself that this is my life now.

An hour later, I heard the garden gate open and Lee appeared:
- Where are you from? I didn't hear the mustang!" I said suspiciously.
- Since you don't answer my calls, I thought I'd pick up our future doctor!
- I still have to get into medicine, Lee.
- Nonsense, that's all you've been doing since you started college, Elle! And knowing you, I know you're going to do everything you can to succeed.
- Thank you for the vote of confidence, Lee. But we'll see!
- Come on, everyone can't wait to see you!

He pulled me by the hand to get me to stand up. He must have sensed my backward movement because he stopped to look at me. He sighed before telling me:
- He didn't come. He had a football game yesterday in New York. He decided to stay there with Chloe.

That's when I felt so miserable. It's easier to avoid than to be avoided! But without thinking about it, I heard myself say to Lee:
- That's better, that he came with a hot cheerleader like everyone thinks he should.
- Elle... if my brother does that, he's an idiot. But really an idiot...
- I think that's what I find difficult about, Lee. Rachel told you that she still loves you and that there is hope that you will get back together one day. I've been told that loving myself isn't enough.
- Listen Elle, I don't think that's what my brother meant. He was completely destroyed before he boarded that plane to Boston.
- But what tells you that he's not flirting with a hot girl.
- Was it Jon Fletcher's comment that put you in that state?