Down the road of memories

Hills to climb

Noah POV

When I woke up that morning of July 5, I told myself that for the first time in 7 years, I was going to wake up next to Elle on this fateful anniversary. I could still smell her perfume, while I was still dreaming of our evening yesterday. The moment I opened my eyes, all I saw was an empty pillow. Elle wasn't in bed with me! Where is she ? A feeling of panic gripped me until I realized that the door leading to the balcony adjoining the bedroom was open.

And that's where I found her looking at the representation of the Eiffel Tower in front of her. I was convinced she was thinking the same thing as me. I always found it confronting when she talked to me about what her life was like during the 6 years we were separated. Even more so than anything connected to the memory of that horrible moment at the top of that hill in LA.

When she told me about her ritual of researching what the last year taught her, I thought it was a great idea! We were leaving today for a 10 hours expedition to the Grand Canyon. What's more thought provoking than a long bus ride and a hike. We were outside the hotel at 7 :00 in the morning, hearing the bus.

Lee and Elle are not morning people so they both stayed pretty quiet during the ride. Which was quite unusual for Rachel and me. I was able to immerse myself in the book I had started on the plane while looking at the landscape and stroking the hand of the young woman sitting next to me.

Arriving at Grand Canyon National Park, I was impressed by these large rock walls. It's surprising to think that it was the Colorado River over time that dug this deep hole. And it was there, climbing the winding red path to the top of the canyon, that I understood what this year had taught me...

I thought back to 19- and 18-year-old Noah and Elle at the top of that hill in LA chained in an inadequate communication loop. Things we didn't say and hide like my struggles at college or Elle's college acceptance letters. Or things we said awkwardly like my discomfort with Marco or Elle's need for me to get involved with the Bucket List. It all separated us like the Colorado River carved a canyon.

I put myself back in the shoes of my self from 7 years ago who lacked the maturity to be able to choose to change the way he did things to save this relationship. At the time it seemed like huge hills to climb. The observation is quite clear that this young man has changed... I have changed. Suffering and pain build character and lead us to reconsider our choices. The 26 year old me has decided to do whatever it takes to climb these hills...no matter what it's going to take of me.

Elle POV

I have seen some breathtaking landscapes during these 7 years that I have traveled the world. But... the grand canyon is some things to see!

It was great doing this hike with Lee, Rachel and Noah. I really liked the emerald blue color of the Colorado River at the bottom of the canyon contrasting with the flamboyant red color of the rock walls and winding paths.

The view at the top of the canyon was magnificent. Lee and Rachel wanted to go walk the Skywalk. I hesitated because I tend to experience a slight dizziness... Yes, I know I have already skydived and jumped off a cliff in my younger days. But as I got older and treated many patients with injuries secondary to falls from height...I became more careful. Noah whispered in my ear that he was going to be there to reassure me and stay on the edge to prevent me from looking at the void beneath my feet. I'm glad I conquered my fear because the photo we took of the four of us on the Skywalk is awesome!

On the way back, the winding paths became a challenge with the number of people traveling there. And with my usual clumsiness or rather bad luck... I got pushed by a lady during her fall which resulted in a fall for myself with twisting trauma to my ankle. The pain took over me immediately. I knew I probably had a deltoid ligament sprain. Fortunately, as an emergency doctor, I always carry an ice pack in my bag if necessary. I allowed myself 10 minutes of ice hoping that it would reduce the pain and inflammation allowing me to continue the descent to the bus. The pain was less allowing me to put weight on my leg but my gait was slow and limping. I managed to make it a good part of the return trip with Noah on my side until pain gripped my stomach with every step.
- Come, I'll take you on my back for the last few meters." Noah told me.
- There's no point in hurting yourself to carry me to the bus." I answered him.
- Shelly, I already carried you from downtown Boston to my dorm room at Harvard. I think I will survive these few meters. You don't have to climb the hills alone..." he said, taking me in his arms.

Once I was safely seated on the bus, I thought about what the past year has taught me. 18 year old Elle tried to do everything by herself to make everyone happy. I was afraid to ask anyone for help and that made me... on the verge of exhaustion.

And what 25-year-old Elle learned that evening is that it's okay to let someone carry you... up the hill.

Noah POV

I was really disappointed when Elle was injured this afternoon while hiking. I didn't want this incident to ruin the rest of our stay in Las Vegas. I was able to appreciate how easy it was for her to be a doctor because she knew exactly what her wound was. She prescribed herself an anti-inflammatory, did a taping to stabilize her ankle and quickly we were able to resume our journey. She only asked to limit movement so as not to over-irritate her ligament. So she and I decided to stay at the hotel while Lee and Rachel decided to wander the streets of Vegas to find a restaurant.

We took advantage of Lee's absence to go eat at the French restaurant in the Eiffel Tower opposite our hotel. Lee has hated French cuisine (or anything French) ever since Elle told him she was leaving for an 18-month internship in Paris. I too saw the end of our separation move back 18 months when I heard the news of her departure. But, I understood very well that when I made the decision to let her go, 7 years ago, I had signed for it. Despite the pain her departure could cause me.

Since her return from Europe and the resumption of our relationship, I have enjoyed learning about the experiences she had there and which made her who she is today. And I learned to love French cuisine. Elle was tempted by the orange duck breast with ratatouille while I tried the beef Wellington with a gratin dauphinois for the first time.
- So, a little preview of our trip to Paris in a few weeks." I said to her with a wink, referring to our honeymoon that we chose to take in Europe.

Paris, Rome and Santorini were on our itinerary. We each chose a destination that we liked during each of our trips. I joined Chloe in Europe to celebrate finishing law school before rushing to study for the bar exam, 2 years ago. Elle chose to bring me to Paris and me to Rome. Santorini is a joint choice.
- It's true that it's going to happen quickly." Elle said to me with a smile. "Less than two months until the big day!
- I admit that I can't wait," I told her, taking her left hand in mine. "It takes all my self-control not to drag you into one of those little chapels to make you a Flynn as quickly as possible.
- And throw away all the preparation we have done for the wedding." she told me, laughing.
- It's more the potential murderous look of my mother who would realize that we did this without her that holds me back.
- Despite everything, I think it's a moment that I want to share with the family." she told me with a nostalgic smile.

We continued talking about the upcoming trip until the topic of this morning's conversation came up :
- I'm curious to know what this year has taught you, Noah." Elle said to me before taking a sip of her wine.
- It taught me not to be afraid to communicate." I said to her and her eyes widened like she couldn't believe what I was saying.
- That surprises me a lot coming from a man who previously hated emotional discussions.
- I realized today that our mode of communication 7 years ago was a big factor in our separation. Like the Colorado River which carved an impressive canyon, the lack of communication separated us little by little. I want to buck the trend and climb the hill with you." I told her, taking her hand.
- Wow! I didn't expect all this from you!
- THANKS ! And what have you learned?
- I realized that 7 years ago, I wanted to take a lot on my shoulders to meet everyone's demands. But there is no harm in asking for help and letting yourself be carried by someone. I am not condemned to climb the hill alone...
- And I will be available to carry you to our bed tonight if you need it!" I said, winking at her.

She burst out laughing before telling me:
- I recognize you there, Noah Flynn. And I'll probably take your offer because my ankle is probably going to be sore tonight.
- At your service, Dr. Evans.

We finished our meal on light topics. We even indulged in some crème brûlée. As soon as the bill has been paid, Elle trudged her way out of the restaurant to the Lobby and then I took her in my arms to our room. We had a good night's sleep, Elle being knocked out from the anti-inflammatories and both of you from your hike today.

This trip to Las Vegas, which we ended by going to see the Cirque du Soleil show "O", was a highlight of our year. It showed me that we can learn from the past... to build the future.