Down the road of memories

Santa Tell me

Elle POV

One of the big disadvantages of being a doctor is working on Christmas Day. I had been on call for over 16 hours and it was now Christmas evening. My whole family was at the Flynn house except me. Normally, it's not a few things that bother me but since I haven't spent Christmas with the Flynns in 6 years, I would have liked to be there this year.

I was in the staff break room drinking my 5th coffee of the day during my little 2 minutes of peace. When Michelle entered the room :
- It's always a little disturbing to be here while all our families are celebrating. Is not it ?" She said to me while filling herself with a cup of coffee.
- It's true ! In medical school, I didn't mind being on call on Christmas Day so much because it saved me from going to Chicago to spend the day with my father's new wife's family.
- Before she came into your father's life, who did you spend your Christmas day with?
- My mother's best friend's family! The Flynns.
- Your current boyfriend's family?
- Yeah, we always spent Christmas together until we broke up before I went to college.
- And how were your Christmases at college?

Flashback New York on December 23, 2 and a half years after the breakup

- One two three ! Merry Christmas girls!" Chloe, Rachel and I shouted, raising our glass before downing it in one go.
- Wow! What a great evening, Chloe!" Rachel said, looking around at the decor of the trendy Manhattan bar near Rockefeller Center, Chloe had taken us to. "Thanks for inviting us!
- Thank you for taking the time to come see me before flying to Los Angeles and Elle flying to Chicago." said Chloe.
- This is the first time you won't be in Los Angeles at all for the holidays, Elle! How do you feel ? " Rachel asked me.
- I miss the hot weather in Los Angeles. I don't particularly like Chicago but the truth is that my life has changed." I replied, feeling a bit of nostalgia for my Christmases of yesteryear.

But Chloe brought me out of my thoughts by saying :
- It seems that your life has changed in another way. I'm seeing pictures of you with a really attractive medical student on social media more and more often.

I burst out laughing before asking her :
- Are you on a reconnaissance mission for someone, Chloe?
- I know you asked me not to talk to you about this person but I didn't think I couldn't talk to him about you. There's always social media!
- But between us, Elle! Is there anything going on between you and the sexy medical student? " Rachel asked me with conspiratorial eyes.
- We are very good friends. He even took tango lessons with me. We call it our way of managing our mental health. He loves traveling like me. We love studying together!
- So, you are very close? " Chloe asked me.
- I wouldn't be able to survive in medicine without him.
- But are you in love with him?" Rachel asked me.

I took a few minutes to think before telling them :
- I feel like he is the perfect guy in terms of my needs. I didn't have a meltdown like I had with Noah. It's much more thoughtful. I think I've matured! And yes, I am falling in love with him.

I saw a passing sadness in Chloe's eyes before she got up to go get us some drinks to toast this news. Once she was out of earshot, Rachel said to me :
- I didn't make you that promise for my part not to talk to you about what's happening in Boston with Noah, Elle. And I think you should know some things.
- Rachel, I don't think I want to know!
- He's not dating, Elle!" she said, looking at me fixedly. "He is tricked into a date by his friends or Chloe and he doesn't go on more than 3-4 dates with a girl. My cousin Livia even told me that everyone at Harvard says that Flynn is haunted by a ghost. I know he finds it very difficult that you seem to have moved on.
- Rachel, if Noah wants to get back in touch I told his mother, Lee and even Chloe to tell him that he can call me. But he never did it.

Except, one time when he was too drunk, I told myself. But Rachel doesn't need to know that.
- The only words I've had from Noah since our breakup are congratulations on social media when I got into medical school.
- So, are you really ready to move on?" Rachel asked me.
- I admit that I am cautious, Rachel. I don't want a boyfriend who won't be there next Christmas!
- I understand you, Elle! But, before you decide to completely abandon the idea of getting back with Flynn, I suggest you read this." she said to me, putting an envelope in my hands.

My name was written on the envelope, presumably in Noah's handwriting. I looked at Rachel questioningly before she said to me :
- He is very aware that he can call you but I think he is afraid of how you would receive him. He also knows that Chloe isn't supposed to bring you anything so he gave it to me.

In the meantime, Chloe returned with a tray of 15 shooters.
- So," she said, giving us each another shot. "I wish all three of us that Santa sends us the love of our lives and that he stays for life!
- To great love!" Rachel and I replied, raising our glasses and drinking.

That evening, when I returned to my hotel room, I took a few minutes to read the letter Noah had written me.

My dear Shelly

I know you told Chloe, Lee and my mom that if I needed to, I could call you. But I don't yet have the courage to do it. Maybe one day I will feel capable.

It's been several years since I wrote to Santa Claus. Probably since the Christmas when I was 7 years old when your father who was dressed as Santa Claus fell down the stairs and I was able to see his face when he replaced his fake beard.

This week, one morning when I woke up to Hangover because of a party, I realized that I wrote one this year. There was only one wish : that you would be there for Christmas this year.

I think I wasn't good enough since my mother told me that you're going to spend Christmas in Chicago with Linda's family! I don't think I'll ever get used to not seeing your beaming face and hearing your contagious laughter on this day. I spent all Christmas Day last year looking towards the front door hoping to see you there.

I hope that one day, I will have been good enough during the year so that Santa Claus will finally bring me what I wanted. I will continue to ask for this every year! In the meantime, Merry Christmas my Shelly!

Noah

And in the envelope, there were two tickets to the All Time Low show in Baltimore in February.

Back to the present

Around 8 p.m., Dr. Smith told us we could do without a resident. Michelle insisted that I be the one to go home.
- I think someone was good enough this year to deserve his Christmas present." she said to me with a smile.

I hurried to change and go to the Flynn's house. I hadn't spent Christmas with them in 6 years. I too was looking forward to it. I entered the house without knocking, practically being in my second home. I could hear the light chatter of everyone exchanging their gifts. I leaned against the wall facing the living room, lovingly watching this family : June and Matthew, Rachel and Lee, and Noah exchanging their gifts. Along with my dad, Brad and Linda, they are my family. The one I missed so much.

Lee was the first to notice my presence, so he nudged his brother and said :
- I think Santa finally thought you were good enough this year to get the gift you've been wanting for so long.

Noah looked in my direction before standing up and rushing towards me. He hugged me like he hadn't seen me in 6 years. I whispered in his ear :
- Merry Christmas, Noah!
- Best Christmas gift ever ...