the love of my life - Pablo Gavi

I just don't understand

Pablo pov:

"Good morning mi vida." I say smiling as I see her she slowly waking up. 

It's 7 am and I've been up all night calling Tess. Tests were carried out on Tess every hour, but luckily she slept a lot. Which is nice, because today the baby is born. Tess will have a c-section at 2 pm and then our little baby boy will be born. 

It feels strange. You are now somewhat used to the idea that your baby has died, but it is still being born today. But then dead.

I pull myself out of my thoughts and I look at Tess.

''Did you sleep well?'' She nods. "Obviously yes, but I was woken up all the time for tests." "I know." She looks at me in disbelief. "You really stayed awake all night?" she asks incredulously.

 ''Yep. If I promise something, I do it. And to be honest, it was kind of fun to see you snoring.''

 ''Pablo! You bully!'' I laugh. ''You were very cute. Is that better?'' ''Much better.'' 

I get up from bed. "What are you going to do?" "I'm going to get dressed and then get Hope dressed. Afterwards, Hope probably wants breakfast, so I'll prepare some food for her.'' 

''Don't you forget to eat, ma vie?'' I sigh inaudible. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon because I don't feel like it. It's not important right now. 

But I don't want to worry Tess, she already has enough to deal with. 

''I will eat something, I promise.'' ''That's good ma vie.'' 

''If you don't mind, I'm going to get myself and Hope ready now. We'll be at the hospital in an hour if you like." "Of course that's okay. I'll see you then!'' ''Great. See you soon!

I walk to the wardrobe and put on simple cargo pants with a sweater. Then I walk to the bathroom to wash my face, do my hair and brush my teeth. 

When I'm done, I walk to Hope's bedroom. Last night Mikky brought Hope. Luckily she continued to sleep. 

I carefully open the door. "Good morning Hope" I whisper. "Good morning daddy," she says sleepily. Smiling, I walk to her bed and pick her up. 

''Did you sleep well?'' She nods.

"Where's mom?" I swallow. "Mom is in the hospital because she got sick yesterday?" "Will she get better?" she says. ''Of course she will get better.'' 

''And the baby?'' ''The baby is in heaven.'' ''Where is that?'' ''Up in the sky where he is very happy. '' ''When can I see him?'' ''You can't see people who are in heaven, but you can feel them.'' 

''Here is your baby brother. He's always there.'' I say as I place my hand on her heart.

<----->

I walk into the hospital with Hope in hand.

 I called Xavi during breakfast and told him that Tess had a miscarriage. He wished me and Tess a lot of strength. 

"Daddy, which room should we go to?" I point to the room at the end of the hallway. "Mommy is in that room." Hope runs to the door." I smile. She's not the only one happy to see Tess again.

 When I get to the room, I open the door. Hope storms in and immediately goes to the bed where Tess is lying. Tess gets tears in her eyes. I put Hope on the bed and she immediately gives Tess a hug. 

''Easy Hope. Mommy is still in pain.'' ''Sorry mommy.'' Tess smiles. ''It's okay. And I'm very happy to see you again.'' ''I'm also happy to see you again mommy.'' She gives Tess another hug, this time a little more gently. 

Then I give Tess a kiss on the forehead. 

"Are you scared?" I ask her. She nods. ''I just can't believe that in 4 hours we're going to be parents again. I just don't understand why we can't welcome our little boy into this world." I see that she is getting emotional, so I grab her hand and squeeze it gently.

 "It's okay to have questions Tess." "I know, but it's just so strange that the baby in my belly is no longer alive." "To be honest, I don't understand it either But eventually we will get answers. I believe in that.''