Pleasing Silas

34

-Sophia Russo-

*TW*

It's been months, months since what happened and I still need to tell my father.

My leg bounces as Silas drives to my dads house, I stare at my phone looking at the text from my mother.

I told her yes.

I watch the trees past by as Silas drives, I feel like puking, my anxiety is through the roof right now and I hate it.

I asked Silas if he thinks I could have his mother be my therapist since I stopped going to mine.

I told her about what happened with Ryan and she said it was probably a nightmare, it felt like it was, but it wasn't, it was reality.

I tried tell her it wasn't, it lead to a panic attack and then me being told to get out.

I told Silas and he was pissed, he talked to me for an hour trying to convince me to leave, and said he'd help me find a better therapist.

He talked with his mother and she said she wouldn't mind, I'm glad, I like Silas's mother, especially his family it's chaotic but a good kind.

Even though what their involved with is concerning, I still like how caring they are.

He pulls up to the driveway and the nausea gets worse "I can't.." I whisper Silas grabs my hand "you can, I know you can, Tesoro." He says kissing my forehead

We walk out to the front door and I stare at it as it gets closer and closer more anxiety enters my body. This won't be easy.

I hesitate "I don't think I can do this." I say looking at Silas "you can Soph, I know you can." He says kissing my head.

I nod slowly and knock on the door, a few minutes later my father opens it "Sophia? Don't you have school right now." He says, I shrug "ca-can we talk?" I ask, he nods slowly letting us in.

Silas, my father and I sit at the dinning room table and it's quiet. An awkward silence.

Silas holds my hand and tries his best to get my leg to stop bouncing "what happened Sophia?" My father asks, i take a deep breath "r-remember how we said Ryan went missing?" I start.

My father nods slowly and I take a deep breath "well- Ryan is uhm-" I look at Silas who nods "Ryan is dead, dad." My fathers eyes widened.

"I-what? How do you know?" He asks shocked, he had an investigation going for him.

Another deep breath "because i saw it. I saw him, before and after he died." I'm not sure how I'll tell my dad what Ryan's done, if he'll even believe me. No one's really believed me about it, my therapist barely did.

"Sophia. What aren't you telling me." My father asks sternly, I sigh "there's a lot you don't know about between Ryan and I..." I start off with

"Which is?"

Another deep breath, Silas squeezes my hand and I start talking "when I was ten, Ryan was in my room after I came home from school, and he smelled weird, I found out it was weed after." I look up to blink the tears away.

"He-he asked if I wanted to play a game with him, and- well I said okay, I didn't know what would be happening." The first tear falls

"Sophia? What happened." My father asks concerned

"It hurt. The-the game he had me do hurt, a lot, in many, many ways, I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, that was the day you noticed something was wrong..also...when my eating disorder started." I say shakily