Gone.

take my hand

Mayas pov

I head back to carinas room using the crutches. They're so squeaky. She's asleep, and I don't want to wake her up so I wait outside. "Bishop can I talk to you?" Bailey asks. "Yeah" I reply, following her into an on call room.

"Are you okay?" She asks, closing the door. "No. How could I be?" I reply, tears welling in my eyes again. "We're here for you. The hospital, the station, everyone. These next few days are going to be tough." She says. "What do you mean?" I ask, sitting down on one of the beds.

She sits next to me, taking a deep breath. "With the state Carinas in, we think it would be best to have her put in inpatient. She's a danger to herself, and it'll be hard for you to watch over her like this." She says. I know she's talking about my leg, but I don't care about that. My Carina.

I swallow, unable to speak. "She has been placed on a psych hold, so she has to stay here for 24 hours. After that, it's your decision. Her therapist should be here any minute to talk to you about her options." It doesn't matter how much she talks, I can't comprehend it. My Carina? We're talking about my wife?

I must've zoned out for a few minutes, because I see the therapist walking in. Bailey heads out, leaving us alone. "Captain Bishop." I say, shaking her hand. "Dr. Hounds, but you can call me Kristen." She says, sitting down next to me.

"I'm sure Dr. Bailey told you about the psych hold. Did she talk to you about your options?" She says. Her voice is so calming. "Not really." I reply, picking at the skin on the sides of my fingers. "Okay, I'm going to go over them with you. You can tell Dr. Baileys about your decision." She replies.

I nod my head, unsure of what to say. "With the state Carina is in, I am strongly suggesting she be put in inpatient. When she is down like this, she tends to reject help. If she was placed in inpatient, that wouldn't be an option for her." She says, handing me a sheet with more information. It lists the price, the location, questions about the facility.

"You can also bring her home. I talked with Dr. Bailey, and we both agreed this would be significantly more difficult. If you do bring her home, she needs to be on a strict caloric diet, no exercise. She also needs to be watched in the bathroom, and all sharps and medication are to be removed from the house. All of this is for her own safety, as well as yours." She says, handing me another piece of paper with the diet and rules.

"We both noted your recent amputation. Do you think this would impede your ability to take care of her?" She asks, looking up at me. "I don't think so. I mean, it will be harder but I think I can still take care of her." I reply.

She nods before speaking again "I understand this is a difficult conversation and an even more difficult decision. Do you have any questions?" She asks, looking up at me again.

I try to speak but I break down in tears. "I'm sorry." I reply, wiping my cheeks. "No need it apologize. This is your wife's life we're talking about." She says, taking my hand in hers.

I try to take deep breaths, just like Carina does with me when I panic like this. "Do you need some time to think?" She asks. "No. I've made Mr decision." I reply, standing up. "Okay. Captain, I will be here for both of you every step of the way. I do recommend you get a therapist, this is a difficult thing to deal with." She says, holding the door for me.

"Thank you." I say, heading out. I make my way to Baileys office, knocking on the door before entering. "Take a seat." She says, motioning to a chair.

"What did you decide?" She asks, shuffling through paperwork on her desk. "I'm going to take her home." I reply. "Okay" she says, grabbing a file.

We go through paperwork, mostly about payments and the treatment plan at home. I have to sign a form saying I'm acknowledging my decision and that it's against medical advice. God, I hope I'm making the right decision. I just know if it were me, I'd want her to take me home.

"She can be released tomorrow morning at 10. Do you need a ride back home?" She asks, collecting all the papers and placing them in the folder again. "Amelia offered." I reply, standing up.

She nods. "I'm here for you Bishop. We all are." She says, walking over to me and giving me a hug. "I would've done the same." She whispers. "Thank you." I reply, heading for the door. "Can I see her?" I ask, looking back at Bailey. She nods.

I head to Carinas room, with anxiety rushing through my veins. I hope she forgives me for bringing her here. Not right now, but eventually.

I knock on her door before entering. "Hi babe" I say, closing the door behind me. "What happened to your prosthetic?" She asks, "got sore" I reply. I can't tell her the truth, it will destroy her. I will tell her when she's better, when we're both better.

"Bailey talked to me about your options. She advised I send you to inpatient." I say, seeing her eyes fill with fear. "But, I told her I'd rather take you home." I add. "Thank you Bambina" she says, grabbing my hand.

"Just because we're going home doesn't mean you aren't getting treatment. We have a strict plan to follow, and you'll be meeting with your therapist twice a week." I say, rubbing my thumb along the back of her hand.

She swallows before nodding, "okay, yeah." She says. "I love you, Carina." I say, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Love you too may" she says, gripping my hand.