We Are Not the Same

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I'm just a convenience
Just a being
A person around
I care
You tolerate
I've been here before
Too many times
I'm scared
You don't care
I'm here for you
You think you're here for me
It's one sided
I can't say 
I always become the villain
I always ruin everything
Nobody tells me anything
You expect me to understand
I don't
I can't
I try
But I can't
I treat others how I wanted to be treated
And yet, it doesn't work
The lack of compassion
So much lacking
I just want to feel loved
And I don't
I don't feel loved
I feel tolerated
It hurts
I spiral
I overthink
I grab a knife
Tempting
So tempting
Not your fault
These thoughts aren't your fault
Not at all
I was that shoulder to cry on
But where the fuck is mine?
Where is my shoulder to cry on?

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