bathroom boy (Johnnie Guilbert X Jake Webber)

CH.25 - breathe in, breathe out

Johnnies pov:

It's been a week since Bryan has talked to me. It has also been a week since I really opened up to Jake about my anxiety and past self harm issues. I'm glade that I was able to tell him but I also regret it. I feel like he's been treating me differently. Like even if I just joke about hating myself he gets all worried like imma do something. I'm not some kid he needs to look out for. I can make a silly joke and not mean any of it. I just need to find a way to bring that up to him. I know that he means well but it can get annoying.

It's now Friday after school and there's going to be a huge party. I'm not completely sure if I wanted to go but that doesn't really matter, I'd probably end up getting dragged there no matter what.

I lift my head up from my desk as the school bell rings. Before I walk out of the class my teacher calls me to his desk.

"Johnnie, you know how I've been wanting to put some art pieces around the school to show how creative some of you students are?" He asks me

"Yeah?" I say

"Well...I've been wondering if you wanted to paint something so it can be put up in the hallway? It doesn't have to be huge, just big enough to be noticable."

I freeze. He wants me to paint something for the school? Why? There's so many people that are way better than me...

"Y-yeah. I can do that." I say with a forced smile

"Awesome, just bring it in whenever. It can be anything so dont stress to much about it." He smiles as he goes back to his work

I walk out of he room shaking. Why did I say yes? I hate when I do this to myself. Now I have to paint something that I'm okay with the whole school seeing. I don't know why he asked me. I'm not even good at art. I stress so much I turn in all of my work late and somehow still pass. Whatever. This will be fine, I will be fine.

I make my way to the parking lot and is met with everyone waiting for me outside of Sam's car.

"What took so long?" Jake asks as he gives me a hug

"My teacher had to talk to me." I sigh as I get in the car

"What about?" Sam asks as he starts the car

"Nothing important.." I turn my focus to looking out the window

Once we get home and settled in, I decided to go upstairs and change into pajamas. After getting dressed I hear the door open and Jake walk closer to me. He jumps on the bed and the turns to look at me.

"You feeling okay?" He asks with a worried look on his face

"Yeah, why?" I ask

"Because you looked a little shaken up in the car. Did your teacher say anything bad to you?" He asks

"N-no not at all. I'm just stressed." I instantly regret using the word 'stressed' to describe how I'm feeling

"Stressed? About what?" He tilts his head
"Is it the party that's happening?"

"Y-yeah.." I lie

I tune out whatever Jake is saying and let him ramble. I don't know why I didn't just say that I'm stressed about art class.. maybe because it sounds kinda gay. Being stressed over a silly little painting that's just going to end up looking like shit. I mean he knows that when I start a project that class I stress too much over it and just ends up hating the end result. The last project I had to do took all of my energy. Whatever. I'll get it done..um..how will I get it done? I have no art supplies here. Fuckkkkk, imma have to do it at school. Ugh. Whatever. It's fine, I'm fine. I take a deep breath and let go.