Guilty | Woosan 18+

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W o o y o u n g.
My breath hitched and my jaw clenched. I tried to not freak out over his dominant stern voice that almost creeped me out if I didn't feel so aroused at that moment. It was wrong to feel a tickle all over my skin that rushed into my cheeks very quickly.

The moonlight made San appear even more dangerous. How he stood right in front of me leaving no space between our two bodies, as if he needed to closeness to me. As if it was necessary that he stood right in front of me.

I've never experienced a ticklish exciting feeling like such. It was the first time I've ever felt fear and arousal at the same time. A whole new experience. A whole new emotion. And a man that was far away from normal but so perfect at the same time.

"San, this is nonsense. I have a god damn will and if I tell you that I won't leave with you, I won't!" my eyebrows moved together forming a strict and angry facial expressions that San only commented with one quick look away. You are probably hearing this for the first time, Mr. Rich, but I won't simply follow you like that.

"You're doing this again." San took a deep breath as if he couldn't bare the situation anymore. My angry facial expression changed into a confused one. What was I doing? Again? "You're pushing me away, as if you wouldn't run into my fucking arms tonight"

His eyes met mine. For the first time today, I was actually speechless. Not only because his sudden change of tone overwhelmed me but also because he was actually right. I did. push San away a few times and then running back into his arms, throwing hints and sights.

"Run into your arms again? Is that really how you think of me? I am not one of your god damn girls or fans or whatever. Let's end this here, San. Whatever this is, whatever you wanna call it. It needs to end right here right now." I only whispered the last sentence because I wasn't able to say it out loud. Inside, I knew I'd do something that I'd regret. But I needed to show him that he crossed a line

San's eyes looked empty. The diamond like brown eyes looked matt again. The simple cold attitude he put on the first day I met him slowly came back. "If that's what you want" he only answered in a cold manner.  I took a sharp breath. No that's not what I really want but it's what I have to do.

"Yes" I only replied and looked down for a second. I was ashamed of my own behavior even though it was something I should've done earlier. San only nodded again and looked at the street unwilling to say something.

Without looking up again, I slowly began to move in order to simply leave him in the small alley that he had dragged me into. I bit my lip and left the dark alley in order to run to the club's entrance again. Many eyes on me since a lot of people outside had seen San's aggressive behavior

People had seen us. They had seen him with me. And maybe some of them knew Felix or at least Minho and the others. I was fucked up. This was fucked up.

But the fact that I suddenly felt on big hand grabbing me was even more fucked up. I took a sharp breath, my heart jumped. He really followed me. I got goosebumps all over my skin and closed my eyes for a second before I said "San please this is-"

I turned around, opened my eyes. I was speechless. The other right in front of me was speechless. Everything became quiet for a second. It felt like the time stopped for a moment preparing me for what was about to come next.

In front of me, the person who grabbed my wrist, it wasn't San like I expected to be, no. It was Felix, who stood in front of me, his jaw dropped. "San?" He whispered underneath his breath as if he exactly knew what was going on.

My hands shook. My entire body felt cold and I began to shake. I took a deep breath. "Why would you call me San, when I randomly grab your wrist?" Felix shook his head in disbelief, his mouth and lips almost shaking from the anger he felt rushing through his entire body

Silence. I didn't have an answer. How was I even supposed to answer? How could I possibly explain why I called him San out of a sudden? In this context, it was nearly impossible to explain. Please, this can't be true. Wake up.

"I don't know I got scared" I whispered underneath my breath. The lie sounding too bad and my body was prepared for the amount of hate I would soon feel through Felix's pain. I bit my lip. Great, make it even more obvious.

A person suddenly appeared behind Felix. Tall, dark and handsome as he was, he stood there, looked at me, eyes locked in with mine not willing to look away, trying to make me fall for him all over again.

Felix didn't see San right behind him, and he wouldn't since he didn't aim at turning around but I was able to see San and it made my next steps even harder. "Are you drunk? Why would you call san?" Felix suddenly broke the silence making me look at him again.

San still didn't move. His eyes were drawn on Felix's hand that was wrapped around my wrist. He didn't like to see the scene in front of him, yet he still didn't move an inch, as if he wanted to hurt himself on purpose.

"Y-yes I think I am drunk..can we go home?" I tried to act a bit tipsy touching my head in order to make a little scene. It was embarrassing that I still continued to lie. I hated myself for lying even more but I was too afraid to face the truth

Felix's gaze suddenly relaxed a bit, as if he really believed me. He was a good person, but I wasn't. I lied to him, manipulated him. He was good to me. A good boyfriend, a good friend.

"Alright, let's take an Uber home, shall we?" Felix said with a warmer facial expression and I nodded still playing the drunk boyfriend that didn't know where left and right was. Embarrassing.

I looked around but the person I was searching for already left. Of course San left. Why would he stand there and stare at us? Maybe he didn't want to get caught. Maybe he simply didn't want to listen to my stupid lie.