Guilty | Woosan 18+

37 🔞🔞🔞

W o o y o u n g.
San looked at me, intensively, as if he was staring right into my soul. He tried to read me but it seemed to be quite difficult. I didn't want to push him away, I really didn't. But I did before and I had my reasons for it. Guilt, fear and lack of trust were part of it.

I must've dreamed. This perfect man, this intelligent and kind man seemed to be interested in me, chasing me all the way to this god damn sweaty college party and I stood there unsure about what to do.
I want to leave with you San, I really do.

My eyes traveled to the floor. It was black and it was stained with several weird substances. It made me feel dirty and I wondered why I even went here. Why I even wanted to stay at such an annoying and loud place.

Maybe I just wanted to be chased. By him.

I bit my lip. My body went insane. San being in front of me. His magnetic mysterious aura pushed me closer to him and wanted me to just fucking leave with him.

"I want to leave with you, San." the words left my mouth like a confession. And maybe it was one. Maybe I finally was able to admit that I wanted this man. I wanted this man so much that my body started to heat up when I was thinking of him.

I thought of him day and night. Mostly at night, when I did things that I didn't do a few months before. And I wondered where my strong desire came from. Maybe it came from this man. The only man that made my body heat up and my palms sweaty. The only man that made me wonder how it felt like to get what my body needed so much right now.

I've never felt the urge to be close to someone.
And to get intimate with one.

San just grabbed my hand and led me through the sweaty mass of dancing and growling people, who were so loud that I didn't even hear my own words and breath.

My entire body was covered in goosebumps from the other's touch. It was the first time in a while that we touched. And my lips started to miss the feeling of the other's butter soft lips on them.

Do you feel the same, San?

I closed my eyes for a second. I desperately tried to not think about San or sex. But somehow - these two went along very well in my head. I bit my lip staring at the other's strong back. San was built like a mountain. He was built like an athlete and from what I knew he worked out a lot, which was visible.

We left the party, the cold air hitting our faces. It was already pitch black outside. A few people just entered the big house already in a very good mood. One girl was crying on the stairs, being hugged by two of her friends. A typical view when one visited those parties more often.

The moon enlightened the street. It was the only light source around and I had a hard time trying to tell where San had left his car. I knew that he had more than one car and thus I didn't really search for the familiar Porsche that I knew and saw before.

San looked stressed. He was searching for something, maybe his car, but when he suddenly pulled me to the nearest little corner right next to the house where nobody could possibly see us, I suddenly realized what he had searched for.

The older pressed me against the brick wall, not too harsh, just right. My eyes widened and I pressed my back forcefully against the cold stone. "I cannot tolerate this" he suddenly said whereupon I opened my mouth. What does he mean?

I bit my tongue for a second trying to figure out what to answer but he suddenly got closer. "You cannot tolerate what?" I asked him directly trying to not sound too harsh since I hoped that we could possibly end this painful mood between the two of us.

Something was different today. Something lingered in the air. Something that I felt so strong that I had to concentrate on what was the right thing to do and not my strong impulse.

"You on these parties. I don't like it. I don't like that you're so far away from me" he answered truthfully. My heart started to race faster and faster. I wanted to simply fall into his arms. And maybe a small part of me wanted to beg him to just bring me to his apartment and show me the things I've only read about so far.

"Do you really mean what you say, San?" I replied still a hint of anxiety in my voice. The little feeling of guilt still didn't left my body but my desire was so strong that it drowned the guilt and made me think of forbidden things instead.

"Yes" the man in front of me said. He got closer and closer. I wondered when he would finally kiss me and tell me that he truly liked me. The bond we had was strong and I suddenly started to believe that the two of us could actually work out together. Maybe we could be just fine. But other than that...
I wanted him to fuck me.

"What are you thinking about?" San asked me, noticing my facial expression that must've looked like I just had an inner monologue. And I did. Inside my head I just had the greatest debate on what to possibly say to him.

Tell him that I liked him. Tell him that I wanted him. Tell him that I was happy that he didn't gave up on me so far.
All of the things I could possibly say but instead I just leaned forward, grabbed his shirt and whispered into his ear.

"Please San...please make me yours"

A/N:
You're not ready ..❌
Also happy new year!!!