I WISH I HATED YOU

Chapter 1

DORIS'S POV

Ring ring. "Stupid alarm."

I hit the button on my phone multiple times, but for some reason it isn't working. "Just shut up!"

It's the first day of school and I didn't even pick outfit for it. I checked my phone, and it was 6 AM.

No. No. No. How did I set alarm hour earlier? What a great start of school. Thank God this year is the last year, and I won't see any of these people again. Hopefully college will be filled with better people than New Rochelle idiots.

I stretched out my body and felt my heart racing after realizing I haven't seen any of classmates for three months. The wave of weakness went through my body. My skin got chills and my body felt sense of discomfort all over. Ring ring. "Stupid alarm, I AM AWAK–, oh it's Sydney."

"Hey, Sydney."

"New year, new me!" Sydney shouted with a joy.

I rolled her eyes, "You said that last year."

"Don't be a bitch. You should change yourself, too." She said with a sassy attitude.

"I don't need to change anything. I think I am perfectly normal."

Sydney tried not to laugh. "Being a bitch is not normal."

"You're overreacting. I am not even that rude to people. Just because I don't wanna hang out with most of them doesn't make me rude."

"You can just try to smile a little. You're so disconnected from the world. Everyone is afraid to talk to you, because you have that attitude that no one likes."

"It's 6 AM. Why did you choose violence this early? Give me a break. I have to get ready. See you today at school!"

I quickly ended the call before she could respond to anything. I brushed my teeth, wore my typical outfit and headed downstairs to make myself breakfast. My dad was already awake as he was getting ready for work. "Hey, dad!"

"Good morning. Did you have your morning prayer?"

"I forgot. Let me just eat."

His eyes pointed out to direction of stairs, "No breakfast before you do your morning prayer."

"Ugh, fine." I ran towards my bedroom, sat on my bed, and closed my eyes. "Dear God, please can this year be less harsh on me. I hope Leon won't hate me as last year. Also, can Jolene stop being so insecure? Never mind. Dear God, can I just be happier this year. Also, say hi to my mom! Amen!"

I ran back downstairs as fast as I could. I am so hungry. "Are you excited for today?" Dad asked.

"A bit. Not in a good way."

I grabbed jam and layered it on the slice of bread. "Doris, throw that negative energy away. If you go to school with that mindset, you can't expect good results."
"I understand, dad."

***
"The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless skies, my love"

I took off my headphones as I stood in front of the school building, I haven't seen since June. Everything stayed the same. My toes trembled as I took first step inside. Breath in. Breath out.

"DOOOOOORIS!" Shouting behind me shocked me. Sydney hugged me around my stomach. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." I said back.

Sydney and I have been friends since 6th grade. She moved to New Rochelle when she was 10 years old. I still freshly remember the day I met her. She was sitting alone during lunch eating spinach mom prepared for her. I approached her and offered her sandwich I had. She didn't hesitate. Since that day, we have been unbreakable.

"You have no idea how I missed school. This is our last year here. We can't waste it to pointless stuff."

"Thank God it's last, so I don't have to see any faces of these people."

"Don't start again with your negativity."

I smirked as I had hard time trying not to laugh. I paced around school to see some of the new faces entering school. Where is that annoying popular group from the last year? I hope they all get expelled and removed from a school completely. I unlocked the locker and inserted school books, and PE clothes inside. When I closed it, I felt motion sickness from seeing one specific idiot in distance.

Leon McCoy, a boy that ruined my life since he walked in. I met him when we were in kindergarten. I remember little of these days, but since then we never clicked. After kindergarten, we went to different schools until his dad become principal in 6th grade. I remember seeing his face after 6 years and knowing damn well I've seen it before. I recognized him, but he had no idea who I was. We were good friends for just three days, until he met Jolene. Since she walked into his life, he changed. We never exchanged conversation since that. He throws jokes, taunts and never dares to talk to me outside of provocation. He would feel such a shame if he talked to me casually. I do it back as I don't want him to know his words hurt sometimes. Jolene joins him as she is   a girl that has been following him like a toy since they met. I was always confused by their relationship. I never knew if they were a thing or just friends. Then he befriended Jolene's friends; Xavier and David. Since that friend group formed, they picked on me and decided to throw their teenage tantrums at me. Everything got worse and I haven't got single peaceful day in school. 

I covered my face with my hands avoiding any eye contact with him.

"He looks different." Sydney muttered.

"He always looks the same."

"No but look at him."

I uncovered my face and let myself look at him for a second. His hair is even messier, and his muscles are even bigger. One more second. His blue eyes shine brighter. Just few seconds more, Doris. Even after these many years, he is still covered with all black clothes. I'll look away now. And he started smoking. Cigarette touched his bottom lip and his gaze directed towards me. I told you to look away!

He smirked at me with his pink lips and looked away lighting his cigarette. Idiot.

Sydney looked back at Doris, "You need some dick... That's the only solution."

"Disgusting!" I felt sickened just thinking about that.

"I forgot about your church rules for a second! Well, I don't think you will find anyone as boring as that in high school. You will not go to hell for having sex."

School bell zoned me out from thoughts occupying my mind.

"Not everything is about sex. I'm going to the class–"

The push against my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. It was soft but it was Leon's. He never dared to touch me before. Ever.

"Get off me." I pushed him as hard as my hands had strength to do so. "Who told you that you can touch me?" I shouted, wiping the dirt he left on my T-shirt.

"Oh, did I scare you? Poor Doris."

"You are fucking idiot, Leon!"

"Isn't swearing forbidden in your religion? Oh, Doris. You better say that to priest."

"If me cursing at you will send me to hell, well hope I burn there."

"Then you will end up with me? Didn't know you wanted that."

"I–. Wha–, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm ju–"

I pushed him away from my way, "Shut the fuck up."

"You swore again."